


Mantra

by wazzy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Slow Burn, Smutty stuff sprinkled through out, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:00:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wazzy/pseuds/wazzy
Summary: The only reason Raven shows up is so she can keep her job. Luna is there and willing to help if only Raven would accept it.
Relationships: Luna & Raven Reyes, Luna/Raven Reyes
Comments: 20
Kudos: 84





	1. Meetings Suck

**Author's Note:**

> There are not enough Seamechanic stories, and I aim to remedy that. One story at a time.

Raven was so exhausted that she hardly had enough energy to hold her head up straight. She managed, but that was all she managed. The time on the clock was not registering in her mind. She could hear it ticking, but the numbers may as well have been alien symbols. The blonde sitting next to her was sobbing about her father having a heart attack for the third week in a row. It was sad sure, but how many times could you tell the same story and expect people to give a shit? Her dad died. Boohoo. Some people never got to grow up with their fathers.  
  
Both of her hands felt like they were shaking when she wiped her palms on the top of her thighs nervously. She should have slept the night before, but that was the problem. No matter how tired her body was, and even her mind, she couldn't sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. Thats because her mind was always on Finn. Finn dying only triggered her unresolved grief over her parents. All the people she had ever loved were gone. Raven was completely and utterly alone in the world. She shook her head trying not to go down that rabbit hole of thoughts again. The last thing she needed was to cry in a room full of already depressed strangers. The sound of the elevator was a welcome temporary distraction. She turned to see a lanky young guy with some sort of goggles on his head, and thick gaudy Beats headphones on his ears step off. She'd never seen him here before, but then again, she rarely paid attention to the faces. She was only going to these groups so that she could keep her job after all. The boy pulled a chair from the shortest stack against the wall, and dragged it loudly with no regard for anyone else in the room until he got to the furthest corner away from the circle and sat down without removing his headphones.   
  
It was comforting somehow to know that she wasn't the only one who didn't want to be there. Didn't want to listen to a room full of people feel sorry for themselves. Didn't need to talk about what happened to them. Raven was also feeling more than a little short tempered though due to her lack of sleep, and her lip curled into a snarl at the noisy arrival of yet another sad asshole. Maybe some more coffee would help. Smoothing out her father's leather jacket as she stood, she walked to the service table. There was a pot of coffee, cheap napkins, discarded stirrers, some styrofoam cups, and a jar that looked like it had once contained sugar, but was now just an empty vessel with a thin layer of crusty sugar crystals lining the bottom.  
  
From the corner of her eyes she could see the frizzy haired girl with the tattoos on her arms approaching. Luna was her name. She annoyed Raven the most. She had only heard the girl speak about meditation, and forgiveness, and giving in to the unpredictable ways of the ocean of life or some shit. It was easy to assume that she was the leader of the group with all her hippy talk, but in actuality, it was the older man that always seemed to praise frizzy hair after she said something "uplifting". His name was Titus. He'd lost his daughter Lexa to a robber who was never caught.  
  
As much as Raven wanted to ignore the questionably positive girl when she smiled and gave a rather raspy, “Hey Raven.” She found herself making brief eye contact, and giving a slight nod. She poured her small white cup nearly to the brim with what was once hot, but now almost room temperature brew. As long as she focused on the coffee, she didn’t have to look at the person speaking to her. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about why you’re here. I ...I know how hard it can be. Opening up to a group of strangers.”  
  
Luna had watched the girl in the red leather jacket for weeks. No one knew any more about her now than the day she walked in. Even on that day, she remembered the girl didn’t speak until someone asked her what her name was and if she wanted to share. The answer was short. “Raven, and no.” Every week she watched her. Despite her bummy college student appearance, the brown skinned girl was put together. Hair always up in a perfect pony tail with not one hair out of place. She wore jeans with holes, but not the fashionable type. They were the type you get from working hard in them, and owning them for more than a few months. Despite holey jeans and out of fashion leather, it was all clean. Ever since Luna found out that Titus had to sign a piece of paper after the meetings every week to confirm that Raven had been attending, Luna found herself growing more and more curious.   
  
The silence and avoidance of eye contact from Raven didn’t bother the free spirit one bit. In fact she’d expected it. “It doesn’t matter if you’re coming to these meetings if you’re not getting anything from them. Sooner or later you’ll need to get it off your chest so you can sleep.” She took one of the napkins from beside the coffee pot and shook the cheap fine ground coffee grinds from it. With a ballpoint pin she wrote down her number and held the napkin out. “You don’t have to use it, but if you need to talk, I’ll always answer.” She knew the girl wouldn’t speak, and she waited longer than she would have liked to get a reaction at all. She simply gazed patiently and watched Raven clench and unclench her jaw as if she wanted to say something. She didn't though. She simply looked down at the napkin, gently yanked it away, and quickly limped back to her seat.   
  
TTTT  
  
It had been nearly a month since Luna gave her number to Raven. It hadn’t bothered her that the girl didn’t use it. She was still showing up to the meetings and even though she still never spoke about what happened to her, she had said something for the first time last week. When Jasper, the troubled young boy who lost his girlfriend, shared and said he felt guilty for still being alive, Raven was the first to speak. Her eyes stared into his with more hope than Luna witnessed from her in all the meetings she’d come to. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t give her the damn disease, but you loved her. You made her last days worth it.” Surprised though some people were to hear Raven speak, everyone jumped in to give words of encouragement to Jasper. They all heard his cry for help. Only Luna heard Raven’s.When Raven briskly made her way into the elevator after the meeting, Luna ran down the stairs to beat her. Curly hair bouncing against her bare shoulders the entire way. Out of breath, and with a thin sheen of sweat just above her brow, Luna blocked the exit to the building. “You...” she gasped. “You have my number still?” Raven stopped and pulled the napkin from her pocket. “Don’t forget, I always answer.” Raven half smiled and nodded. “Yeah.” Luna smiled back, but she was worried more now than she had been during the meeting. She’d never seen Raven smile. “I’ll see you next week. Right?” Raven’s eyebrow raised, “Uh, yeah. I’ll be here. See you next week Luna.” This week however, for the first time in months, Raven hadn’t shown up. At first Luna thought, maybe she was just late. But with each passing minute it became obvious that late had turned into a no show.

  


TTTT  
  
Being sent home without pay for a week should have been a wake up call to Raven. She should have been dying to go to the survivors meetings, and finally getting off her chest what she'd been holding in, even from herself. It was not. She lay on what was once a pile of clean laundry on her couch and stared longingly at what she knew was an empty pizza box. When she began to see the partially ajar pizza box move, and hear a voice coming from it, that should have made her want to give up and call Luna. It didn't. Raven was used to the delusions that came with sleep deprivation. What finally scared her into making the call was finding Finn's baseball card collection under the couch when she'd been looking for the bottle of whiskey she'd let roll under there. It was in that moment that a stream of silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Losing Finn was hard, but realizing that she wanted it all to end, and that the sleep she wanted couldn't exist without death, and that she had just in that instant thought, 'Finn had a gun in his closet.', is what made her dig through the pile of clothes on her couch and find her cellphone. She stared tight lipped at the number she'd typed in to it, but couldn't bring herself to actually call. She didn't know anything about Luna, and besides that she'd missed the meeting that happened the day before. How could she deal with what she just knew was going to be judgement right now? Her heart hammered in her chest as her mind swam with too many thoughts. Too many emotions. She let out a feeble sob and let her phone drop to the floor beside her as she held herself and wept. This time she heard a voice she hadn't thought she wanted to hear. The voice was yelling though it sounded so far away it was hardly a whisper above her sobs. "Raven?? Whoever this is, I am here! Please let me help you!" 


	2. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven isn't coping well, and accidentally makes a phone call.

It wasn't that hard to imagine that the city no longer existed, and that the sky, and sea, and trees would just stretch out before her forever. Luna was in her safe place. After giving up her negative energy, and anxiety surrounding the week’s events. It had helped dredge up feelings from the past she'd rather not wallow in, so she decided to take her boat out into the harbor. The further away from the city she got, the wider the smile on her face grew. The ocean rocked her until all of her emotional rough edges were smooth, and she could breathe easy and care free once more.   
  
The sky became painted with the different shades oranges and purples she adored so much, and she pulled a green tattered shawl around her slipping into her favorite daydream. There was a world of sky and sea, earth and trees, with no cities. In this world, she still lived on her boat, but it is big enough to be a sanctuary for all who needed it. In this world they could all help one another heal and live a life of peace and tranquility. Luna watched the brilliant colors of sunset fade and took a few drags from her cigarette while she dropped a few fishing lines.  
  
She didn't turn her boat around to head back toward the city until long after the sun had gone down. All that was left to do was find dinner. She’d had to let go of the few small fish she’d caught much to her disappointment. Below deck she grabbed her cellphone, and traded her tattered shawl for a faded blue jean jacket. Luna was already thinking about which food truck she would visit when she stepped back into the night. Just before she managed to slip her key into the lock she felt the phone in her left hand vibrate. "Oh." She turned it over to see a number she didn't recognize.  
  
It wasn't until after she pushed a few of her curls behind her ear and raised the phone to hear sobbing that she remembered the negative energy and anxiety she'd rid herself of hours ago. It was Raven. It had to be. "Raven?" She pushed her keys back into her pocket and rushed back down the narrow stairs into her room. "I'm here for you. Please." Still, no response. Maybe her cell service was bad. The familiar taste of crept up the back of her throat. Her mind had come up with too many horrible scenarios as to what was going on on the other end of this call. She paced back and forth. “Raven?? Whoever this is, I am here! Please let me help you!”  
  
The sobbing seemed to faulter. Had the person finally heard her? “It’s me Luna! Can you hear me?” She rushed back up to the deck. If it was the service, she didn’t want her call to drop. She heard sniffling and an exaggerated sigh. Then she heard, “Stupid phone!” The voice made Luna’s eyes close. In a way she was relieved even though she knew that getting this call is what she had feared a week ago. Her bigger fear was not getting it at all. “Raven...raven can you-“ she was cut off by the unmistakable honking of someone blowing their nose. After another pause she heard another sigh and voice more clearly say, “Um...yeah. Luna?” Luna nodded. “Yes it’s me. Thank you for calling. How are you?” She cursed herself a little. They both knew she’d heard the crying. “I’m...I don’t...I don’t know why I called you. It was an accident. I’m fine. Really.” Luna bit her lip not believing a word of it. Raven seemed the strong type. The type that hated that she was in pain, and didn’t like seeing others in pain. Especially pain she could relate to. Luna knew this, because she watched people. The way Raven had spoke that day at the meeting... “Hey, I know we aren’t friends or anything, but I have been having just...a really shit week. I don’t...I don’t want to be alone right now. You know?”  
  
Raven blinked and pulled her phone from her face just to make sure she’d really called someone. Her eyes were still threatening to spill tears she’d prematurely cut off. “I’m not really in the mood to-“I won’t bore you with my problems. Promise. We don’t have to talk at all. Just...being here alone is really not good for me right now.” Raven took a deep breath in and held it. She didn’t want to need this woman. Any one for that matter, but especially not this woman that she couldn’t stand the sight of. Yet, she did. She needed to talk to someone, she needed to not be alone in her and Finn’s apartment and she needed... someone to listen. Her voice was deadpan. “I know this is you trying to like...help me or whatever. Just...where do you want to meet?”  
  
For some reason, Raven didn’t trust herself to navigate her apartment alone. She stayed on the phone and held it tight. “I’m not hungry. I’m out of alcohol though.” She heard a thoughtful “hmmm.” And then silence. Just as she was about to speak the girl replied “Oh! We can go to the Jade Dragon Market. You can have your alcohol, I can have food, and we can both get out of the house.” Raven stopped to look in the mirror. Her hair looked like shit. Her eyes were obviously bloodshot and swollen. On her way out of the door she grabbed a baseball cap. “I think I know which one that is. Underground. Down by the water.”  
  
TTTT  
  
Luna sat on a bench outside of the underground night market with her clove cigarette nestled between her fingers. She wondered if Raven was actually coming. It had sounded like she was outside of her apartment when they ended the call. She could hear sirens going off in the background. She bit at her cheek, and pulled the phone from her pocket for what was probably the fifth time in the past two minutes. 1:18 AM She looked up and scanned the groups of people walking up and down the stairs to the Jade Dragon. The only way she'd recognized Raven approaching from the corner of her eye was the jacket. It seemed that was the only jacket she ever wore, but the rest of her... Luna knew her suspicions were correct. This girl was in trouble. Her features were swollen and splotchy from the binge drinking she knew had been happening, and on top of that she was limping. badly. "Raven!" Luna stood and raised her arm up so Raven would know where she was. Raven seemed to pause as if she was thinking this was a bad idea. Luna knew that look because it was one she'd seen her wear every time she exited the elevator at the meetings. Luna put out her cigarette and dropped it into the can. She shoved her hands in her pockets to shield them from the cool night air and closed the gap between them. "Thank you for meeting with me." She said with a genuine smile before grinning and raising her fingertips up to touch the hat Raven wore. "Nice. My brother loves them." She watched Raven's eyes as they searched her own. She hadn't said anything yet. Luna's brow furrowed and she pulled Raven into a hug. "Hey. It's okay." Raven wasn't crying, but she didn't pull away from her. She held on tight. They both stood locked in an understanding embrace that needed no words until Raven let go. Once they let go, Luna heard her voice push forth in a flat even tone. She said, "I locked my keys in my apartment." and then she actually laughed.   
Luna knew she was having a difficult time and the keys were just the icing on top of the cake. "Oh noooo. So you had to walk?" Raven nodded. "Yeah." Luna hooked her arm. "Alright then, lets get you that drink."


	3. Jade Dragon part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The underground market, and the truth about Luna.

The stairs were more painful than Raven wanted to admit after having had to walk from her apartment, and down the hill to get to the market to begin with. The only thing that may have given it away was the way her hand tightened on Luna’s arm after the first step. As soon as they reached the bottom, Raven let go of Luna altogether. She didn't look at anyone as they walked past. Instead she looked at the yellow tinged globes that hung from the ceiling all along the hallway on both sides. They weren't that bright, but it seemed they didn't need to be. The more well established shops had brightly colored neon signs hanging in the windows, and the permanent shops had them hangout outside drawing the customers to them. Some of them in English, some of them in Japanese, or Korean. Raven even recognized some of the posters behind glass along the wall advertising for shops on the second level in Spanish and even German. There were many she didn't recognize though.   
  
The first level, which is where they were now seemed to be more like an exotic skymall catalog. In the windows Raven saw alarm clocks that were also single cup coffee makers, back massagers, pillows that sit on your lap for when you're reading, or using a laptop. In others she saw men's suits, and briefcases. She was so distracted with all the little things she saw that she'd nearly forgotten that heavy pain in her chest. Until she took a blind step forward and found herself stepping right in to the back of Luna with a face full of hair and having to hold on to the girl's arms to keep from falling forward. "Hey what..." As she stepped back Luna turned around. "We're about to go down more stairs. I just wanted to..." She held out her arm. Raven could tell Luna didn’t know how to ask. That only made it feel worse.   
  
Raven looked down at Luna's arm. It was a reminder that she needed help even when she didn’t want it. She should have said thank you. A small part of her wanted to, but for the most part she was just agitated. Her brown eyes rolled hard as she took the arm offered to her. "What is your deal anyway? You just go around helping people?" It was a genuine question, but she could hear how bitchy it sounded when she asked. She tried again with a softer tone. "Why are you trying to help me?" Luna didn't turn to her, and standing beside her all Raven could see was hair. She supposed she deserved the silence. When they reached the second level Luna let go of her arm. "Why don't we focus on getting you that drink eh?"   
  
The second level is where all the food stalls were. There weren’t too many shops with doors as much as it was an open space with a maze of carts, and stands with that same variety in language all over. The dim yellow globes now spread out across the ceiling. It was odd to stand still down here with the hundreds of conversations taking place in no one uniform language rushing past. Luna seemed to have a pretty good idea of where she was leading Raven so she followed as best she could with a hitch in her step. As they weaved between groups of people and stalls, she began to change her mind about wanting food. Hearing the sizzling of fat as it cooked, and smelling the different meats and fish being barbecued and sautéed was making her mouth water. Even the skewers which looked like they could have easily been something she'd never eat if she was told what it was at first looked delicious.  
  
Somehow they ended up in what was the quietest place on the entire second floor. There were few close walled establishments on this floor, and this one was one them. It wasn't anything special or exotic from what Raven could see, it was just a bar. Luna pushed the door open and a bell rang. The three men seated at the bar turned around. One of them spoke to Luna in a language Raven didn't recognize. Shortly after he’d started, a stern looking woman with a warm smile came from the back with an apron on and smile at Luna, but looked at Raven curiously and spoke the same language. It seemed almost similar to English, and if she tried hard enough she could catch a word or two, but they spoke too fast for anything to make sense. Luna smiled at the woman who had come and spoke back. Then, as if flipping a switch she turned to Raven, "We're okay here. You can rest your leg, and I can get that dinner I wanted." Just in time to betray her, Raven's stomach grumbled loudly.   
  
TTTT  
  
Luna ordered Raven a fairly strong drink, food for them both, and had gone to the bathroom while leaving Raven at one of the vacant tables. Maybe drunk Raven was a terrible idea, but Luna knew that this destruction was better than complete destruction. For now. When Luna returned to the table Raven appeared to be smiling at Echo from across the room and Echo her. It was only odd because of how grouchy Raven was outside of the frustrated laughter she’d let out earlier. Luna wondered how long it had been since the Latina had let herself actually enjoy something and smile like that. The drink Luna had ordered for her was already on the table, but it looked like it had barely been touched. Luna sat down and folded her arms on the table between them. Before she could begin to speak Raven whispered. “Hey, who is that?” Luna’s eyes widened. “Oh.” She understood the smile she’d seen exchanged earlier. “That’s Echo she’s my cousin.”   
  
Raven seemed to be thinking about whether or not that’s a line she should cross, and slightly agitated, Luna let her think about it without encouraging or discouraging it for now. “So I was thinking about your keys situation...” Luna had started off strong but it was clear that Raven was intent on not thinking about anything serious right now. She’d managed to find Echo on facebook in less than 30 seconds and held the screen up to show Luna. “You think it’s cool if I am friends with your cousin?” Luna shrugged. “I am not my cousin's keeper. Her husband is though.” She saw Raven deflate and felt like a bitch for doing that. It was better she find out now than later though. Raven slid the phone into her jacket and finally began nursing her drink.   
“Aren't you gonna have a drink?" Luna could only look at the drink and shake her head. "I gave it up for a while to see how it feels to self soothe-" Raven held her hand up as if telling her to stop. "Luna...what is your deal? I mean it. I know I was being a bit of a bitch before at the meetings, and when you offered to help me, but honestly...you seem...like such a try hard." Luna opened her mouth, but Raven went on. With crossed arms Luna waited for her to shut up.  
  
Echo had sent Emori out to bring them their food. For that, Luna was grateful. Raven had shut up and raised an eyebrow at the plate before her. "You didn't have to do that...I..." Luna squinted at Raven. "No no. Please continue to deflect from your pain by attacking me Raven." A faint blush spread on the cheeks under her perfectly tanned skin. "I'm sorry." Luna scoffed and picked up her fork. She seemed like a try hard? That wasn't even the most insulting part. When Raven had blathered on she spilled all of the assumptions she'd made about the woman sitting across from her. That she pretended to have her shit all figured out. That she can't have really lost anyone, and that she got off on acting superior to others with her 'culty' ocean talk. Luna ate in silence, and contemplated the words. She knew the girl was in a fragile state, but she didn't come up with all of that out of no where. Some of that, if not all of it were things she really believed.  
  
Luna's stomach turned as she stared at the rest of her meal and pushed the plate away. "Don't worry about the tab." She stood to leave, and then heard Raven speak again. "Thats not...I don't want to tell you. I don't want someone who is going to judge me, but I...I think I need help." Luna had never heard anyone say something so quietly in a bar before. She uncrossed her arms. "You think that I haven't been where you are, and so I will judge you." She calmly shook her head, “Quite the judgmental little bird aren't you?" Even though she was hurt by what was said before, Luna held out her hand. Raven looked down unsure whether she should take it. "Come," Luna said. "I will show you." They didn't have far to travel. Luna led Raven behind the bar. There was a door to the side of it that led to a dark office. She flipped the switch.   
  
Raven saw a messy office space the size of a closet. Nothing significant. That was until Luna closed the door behind them. The back of the door was covered in pictures. Raven looked back at Luna. "Wait...you work here?" Luna sighed. "Yes. I own it." Luna reached around Raven and pulled a picture off the door. When Raven saw it, she stopped. Looking down at the photograph, and back up to Luna. She hadn't eaten much before she'd left her house, and even after she'd decided she was hungry, seeing Luna's eyes after she'd said...all of those horrible things, she hadn't been able to eat. She did however finish her drink, and was sure she was pretty drunk right now. Looking at this photo confirmed it. "There are two of you." Luna's eyes grew soft. "No. There never was..." Raven watched Luna choose her words, and couldn't help but to look down at the photo again. There was a curly haired, bright eyed Luna smiling wide and holding on tightly to another curly haired brighter eyed Luna. One had blue streaks in their hair, the other had green. But the closer Raven looked the more she realized the differences. "His name was Lark." Luna gently pulled the picture back and stared at it while Raven tried to process. "My twin. There was never two of me, but he was the better half of both of us."  
  
Raven felt like she was going to be sick. Not about what Luna was saying, but because she was piecing it together on her own that it wasn't just anyone this seemingly perfect and stable human being had lost. It was her twin. She looked closely at the door. A lot of the pictures were of a young Luna and Lark. Some had other people in them including Echo. But of all the ones she could see... Luna and Lark couldn't have been older than their late teens. "Lark was in pain. I could feel it, but I couldn't see it. I thought maybe it would go away. I ignored it, and tried to distract him instead. We drank, we partied hard, knew all the best spots to hang out. We...I was happy. Lark was still in pain. Only now I couldn't feel it or see it...and then one day he was gone. No note, no nothing. I found him hanging from the fixture in the living room...."   
  
"Luna..." She stood there watching Luna stare at the back of the door. No more words would come forth. Luna turned to her and gave a half smile. "I should have asked him instead of just trying to fix it. I could have been there for him to confide in. I could have consoled him, and helped him through whatever it was...instead..." She pushed a few of her stray hairs behind her ear, and cleared her throat. "So I worked on myself. I changed who I was. I ask questions, I offer to help..." It was Raven's turn to embrace Luna. "I'm so sorry. I'm just a lonely asshole." Luna loosened her hold and pulled away. "You might be, but I forgive you. Just let me help." Raven nodded drunkly. "Okay. Deal."


	4. Jade Dragon part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven lets it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. I needed to write today, but when I got to the end I realized the next paragraph I had in mind really should start the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much for those who have read the weepy stuff up to this point, and thank you so much for the kudos. This is my first fic. I know. Its obvious, XD I promise there is more to this I just needed to establish some things first.

The third level of of the Jade Dragon was a dying market full of mysterious and dark metaphysical shops. Those few that had found themselves on that floor were wandering around gawking at store fronts and taking selfies before they returned to the second level. Some of the windows had crystal balls, giant standing amethyst gems, or were completely covered from the inside with gaudy curtains. There was also a head shop which sold "tobacco" pipes, and "tobacco" hookahs along with incense, and blacklight posters. Possibly the most out of place shop to Raven, was a comic book/gaming shop called ‘The Ark’ right in the middle of all that hippy shit. Her eyes lit up when she saw it all the same. Luna noticed this and headed that direction.   
  
Raven wasn't one who was normally shy, but after the loud accusations toward her newfound companion earlier in the night she'd been quiet and simply followed behind the other. That faded away after she'd stepped into the gaming shop. She felt giddy just as she did every time she walked in to a place like this. She looked at the rare books behind the glass, and the shelves upon shelves of dice. Her voice didn't come easy, but it pushed forth from her throat however strained when she started looking at the actual gaming material. “Finn and I used to...” she picked up a monster manual and opened it to a random page. “When we were kids he found a monster manual. But only the monster manual. We made up so many stories and adventures just flipping to random pages in this thing...” she looked up expecting to see Luna staring at her with a look of pity. Instead she saw the woman wore the tiniest of smiles. She nodded letting Raven know she was listening. And so it was there surrounded by things that reminded her of him, that Raven decided to talk about Finn.   
  
"We grew up together. Our fathers were both in that train accident that happened after the earthquake and uh...we were neighbors. His mom was a nurse and barely home...my mom was always home, but barely there you know? She drank, smoked, and watched game shows all day. So we would play at his house a lot, or in the woods behind our houses...We took care of each other." Raven cleared her throat and looked down at the book in her hands. She couldn't make eye contact right now, or she knew she would break down. "For a while I thought I was in love with him...we even tried to be together, but we just didn't fit together that way. It felt wrong somehow."  
  
TTTT  
  
Luna pointed to the empty bench once they were back in the night air. Raven needed to sit. Even after she'd gotten sufficiently drunk her limp was becoming more pronounced. She didn't speak as Raven told her about her love of the stars, and Finn's love of baseball. How they would have secret sleepovers, and both hated pepperoni on pizza. It was good just to hear her sharing. The market was closing however, and she didn't know if it was wise to invite her back to the boat. So they sat looking out at the water in the cool night air. Raven just continued to pour out her memories, and Luna listened intently. Her eyes never left Raven. "When my mom died...I couldn't cope. Finn...he's the one who told me it was okay to be angry. He helped me clean out the house..." Luna watched as Raven took a deep staggering breath. "And now I have..." Raven looked over at Luna. "I have all of his things. And I don't know what to do. I can't keep walking into the apartment seeing his shoes by the door and crying because he'll never wear them again, or sleeping on his clothes just to feel close to him." Her tears rolled quietly down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and tried to regain her composure.   
  
She felt Luna stiffen beside her. She sat very still and then asked the question Raven had been hoping she wouldn't have to answer. "When you called me Raven...you were thinking about being close to him." The heavy tone of her voice asked what her words did not and all Raven could do was nod. The woman hung her head. "I've never..." No more words came. Warm arms wrapped around her and rocked her. Raven didn’t bother trying to stop the tears from flowing. A soft humming vibrated Luna’s chest as raven rested her head on her shoulders. Then there was nothing.  
  
TTTT  
  
Once the sound of sobbing went quiet, Luna could hear Raven’s breath go shallow and steady. She was asleep. Luna sighed softly and watched the sky’s transition from darkness to dawn. The grip Raven had on her arm relaxed, but she sat still. Out loud she spoke to the ocean before her in her native tongue. _'Thank you for my gift. A little bird. Tell Lark I will try harder this time.'_


	5. Reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Raven go to Raven's apartment.

It had been so long since Raven slept that she forgot how good it felt. The slow call to consciousness from her dreamless and peaceful darkness nearly startled her. Those brown eyes of hers opened to see that the sun was all but risen. She sat straight up startling a group of nearby gulls. An arm slid off her shoulder and down her side, and she turned to see the woman she’d called the night before. She remembered things in pieces when she gazed at Luna’s peaceful face. But all the details didn’t exactly come back all at once. Calling Luna, but not really meaning to. Being held so tight in a silent understanding, a good meal, feeling like shit for being mean to Luna... and she cried. A lot. She cringed remembering how hard she’d cried. Then again for how she’d drunkenly shit talked the only person aside from her boss that gave a shit about her. Even then, she was sure Sinclair was only helping her because she was the best damn mechanic he had, and she took on all of his extra work for practically nothing.  
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t got drunk, told someone off and then cried after Finn died, every other day now. This time though, it felt different. Luna’s eyes slowly opened and looked back into hers. “You look confused little bird.” Luna’s voice was so smoky and rich when she first woke up Raven couldn’t help but grin. “You should do a podcast, but when you first wake up. It could be about anything.” She watched Luna give a knowing smirk and nod, “I bet you say that to ALL the girls.” Raven shrugged. “It’s worth a try. Uh. Listen.” She stood and brushed herself off. Checking her jacket to make sure. Well she wasn’t sure what she was checking for. Then when she finally stopped being nervous she made eye contact with the woman who had helped her.  
  
Her brown locks still just as untamed as the were the day before, only now Raven could see strands of yellow and lighter browns. Proof she assumed of a life lived well and often time outdoors. At least a lot of the pictures she’d seen the night before seemed to suggest she spent a lot of time outside. Her entire being just seemed to be so...carefree. She remembered what Luna had told her about her past, but she would have never guessed. There were no lines on her face that were heavy with grief or sorrow. Smiling seemed to come easy to her, and reaching out to people. Even stubborn people like Raven. “I wanted to say that...You didn’t have to stay up all night, feed me, or be harshly criticized by me... I...was being a bitch before. And uh... thank you for you know...”  
Luna stood and stretched her arms out. She knew that for someone like Raven apologizing was hard. Still, she simply smiled and poked her index finger into the other woman’s cheek softly. “You just want to hear my podcast voice again.” Raven swatted her hand away, but smiled appreciating the ease of tension. Luna straightened her jean jacket and cleared her throat, “I know that uh...sleeping on a bench together doesn’t make us best friends or anything. But I also know that you Raven, do not like asking for help. So I’m not longer going to ask. I’m telling you that I am going to help. Starting with your apartment. Starting today.” She watched Raven’s smile drop instantly to a threatening glare. “Ah ah ah. Here me out first. You said the only reason you were able to get through your mother’s things was because Finn was there to help you. I’m not Finn. I know. But I will be super respectful, and we won’t have to get rid of anything. We’ll just move it until you’re ready.” Raven huffed, and folded her arms across her chest. “Not getting rid of anything... I don’t know what to do with it all.” Luna nodded. “I know. That’s why we’re going to put it in a storage unit.”  
  
TTTT   
  
She followed a few steps behind Raven simply enjoying the sights of the city this early in the morning. Her lack of an actual nights sleep not at all evident in her gentle smile and the stride in her walk. Luna noticed Raven's own heavy clunky stomping. It wasn't her leg being hurt that was the cause. She was inclined to believe that the girl always walked with determination from one point to another without stopping to notice things along the way. It made her sad. Rain clouds threatened to spill their contents in the distance, but the steadily rising sun shone brightly as the head up the hill. “Probably won’t rain until noon...” she muttered quietly to herself. She thought about going out to open water again to see if she could catch anything worth cooking after she was through helping out. While they walked, Raven was trying desperately to explain to her barely awake landlord that she'd locked herself out of her apartment and needed to be let back in. Luna was amused at how full of fire the woman could be already so early in the morning. Of course, Luna understood anger. She spent much of her youth angry and fighting the world. Now when she recognized it in others she just wanted to wash it away from their hearts.   
  
TTTT  
  
There was nothing that could have prepared Luna for how heartbreaking it was to watch as Raven stood in her own doorway after the man with bags under his eyes, and green flip-flops on his feet unlocked the door and swung the door open. "Thank you." Luna said in a low voice. It was clear Raven wasn’t going to say as much. The light vibration of a phone going off in her pocket would have to wait. She didn't move from where she stood. Just a few steps behind Raven. The older man looked as if he wanted to say something, but he turned and made his way down the echoing stairwell with a frustrated growl. She wondered if Raven wanted her to leave, but knew better than to ask questions around her now. "Raven..." She started in a calming voice. "I know this is hard. We don't have to start right away." Raven didn't turn toward her. Just nodded. "How about we see if theres anything salvageable in the kitchen. Something warm for you to drink after sleeping in the cold." Raven nodded, and Luna watched as he hands tightened into fists at her sides. Luna stepped forward and placed her left hand on the outside of Raven's. "One step at a time."  
There was a lot Raven could say about Luna. Most of which she already had, but in this moment it would be a singing of praises. Just for being there. For not being pushy, and for just being a calming presence standing next to her while the chaotic storm in her mind raged on. When her landlord had opened the door, every single thought she'd hand the last time she'd been in that space came flooding back. She felt as if she would drop to the floor if she tried to take another step. Raven didn't even know how long she'd been standing there staring into what was once a warm and cozy sanctuary. Long enough that she no longer heard the footsteps of a cranky overweight man in flip-flops making his way to the first floor of the building.   
  
Feeling the now comforting touch of a hand on hers Raven nodded again with no sound escaping her and with her good leg took the first step forward. Putting one foot in front of the other was easy enough. She just did it in her own time. Once she was fully inside the apartment she pulled Luna in with her and shut the door. She wouldn't admit that a small part of her was afraid to be alone here, and that she was convinced that Luna would get one good look at the mess and leave. Luckily for her Luna was already headed to the small kitchen space. Raven's throat cleared loudly. "Sorry about the mess." Luna shrugged. "I've seen worse...hell, I've been worse.” Coffee was a sad affair. There were hardly any clean dishes. A few bowls that looked as if they never been touched and one lone plate along with a few utensils were all that remained clean. There were no mugs, or anything sturdy to handle hot coffee. Which was okay because there were no coffee beans any way, so Raven took some “high end” instant coffee and mixed it with hot water from the tap in a far too large bowl with what appeared to be a slotted spoon. Then she added a generous heap of sugar and some ice so that she could pour the concoction into two red solo cups. "Its not hot but its caffeine" She said offering on to Luna. She accepted the cup gratefully and grinned. “So you might have a future as a barista, and I could host a podcast. There is a joke in there somewhere I’m sure of it.”   
  
Raven chuckled. “Too tired to find it.” They both sat in silence. Raven’s eyes glued to the refrigerator. Luna looked out into the living room. Empty liquor bottles, clothes, pizza boxes and take out wrappers and containers, what looked like a broken chair, and who knows what further in to the apartment. Luna cleared her throat, “So,” she started cautiously aware that Raven seemed to be in her own thoughts at the moment. “Where are you comfortable starting?” Raven clenched her jaw. “I have to do this...” It wasn’t a question. More just her reminding herself out loud that it was the only way. Luna could see the determination. Not just in the way her face set but the way her back straightened and in the steadiness of her voice. With a sigh raven looked out at the mess. “Then I want to get rid of everything.” Luna’s eyes grew wide with worry. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait to make that decision?” Raven set down her iced coffee and reach up to tighten her ponytail. “I’m sure.”  
  
TTTT  
  
Raven apparently hadn’t meant just getting rid of Finn’s things. It became apparent to Luna as they picked things up and put them into donate and trash piles that Raven was hitting a reset button. Luna asked a few times which pile an item would go into, but by the third ask Raven just shook her head. “If it isn’t broken donate it. If it is, trash.” Surprisingly, those instructions meant it took little a few hours to complete the task. It was only once they got to Finn’s bedroom that Raven’s quickness to put things in those two piles came to a halt. She was just standing in the room looking around. Luna didn’t touch anything when they’d gone in. It was small. Messy just like the living room had been, but it had character to it.   
There were posters on the wall of baseball teams Luna had never even heard of. Some of them in black and white even. “Lark and Finn would have had a lot to talk about.” She hadn’t realized she’d said it out loud and looked at Raven to make sure she hadn’t somehow upset her. Raven nodded. “Yeah. He was into this stuff. I took him to a game once. He cried when we walked into the stands and looked at the field. Said it was the closest he felt to his dad since he died.” Then there was silence again. Luna felt her phone vibrate again and this time pulled it from her pocket to see who it was. Echo. She frowned and rejected the call. Instead she sent a text, ‘Busy RN will come by tonight.’ Echo quickly replied back. ‘Roan fuckin cheated again! I need a few days off to take the kids to Anya’s’ Luna sighed. Well that was just great. She was so busy texting back and forth that she didn’t notice a Raven sit down on the bed and then defeatedly lay down on it staring up at the ceiling.  
  
Raven’s chest was heavy. It was supposed to be simple. Find one thing of his to keep, get rid of the rest. Once she did that though... it would all be too real. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She had to keep living. She had a dream and damn it she wanted to see it through. With or without him there to cheer her on. “I actually didn’t even get my father’s jacket until after my mom passed away.” She saw Luna’s bouncy hair come in to the corner of her vision. “That great red leather one?” That made Raven smile. “That’s the one.” She sat up and sighed. “It was all she had left of him. She threw the rest away. So when me and Finn went through everything thing, we pawned some stuff, trashed some stuff...I only kept a family photo, dad's jacket, and her favorite bourbon glass. I just don’t know what...”   
Luna knelt beside the bed. “I think I understand what you’re doing. I am one hundred percent behind you. You know? Just...I think You should take some time to think about this room. Maybe only the stuff in here goes to storage and the rest of it we can trash and donate.” Raven seemed to be thinking about it for a moment. “Okay. But can you do me a favor?” Luna nodded, “Of course.” Raven stared at the open closet with its contents spilling out. “There’s a gun in there. I can’t...I don’t want to know what you do with it. Can you take it?” Luna swallowed. “I...yes.” So she rooted through the collection of shoes and sports illustrated magazines until she found a box. It was heavy, but didn’t have a lock on it. Luna turned around to look at Raven who seemed to be just as nervous and then back at the box. She opened it to make sure that the weapon she suspected was in there, was in fact in there. It was. She quickly shut the lid and stood. “I’ll take it when I leave...”   
  
It was odd the way Luna’s face was contorting now. Almost like she would cry. Raven frowned. “What’s wrong?” Luna paused before asking, “Are there any more?” Raven shook her head slowly. “Good.” Then it dawned on her. Luna must have realized why she was being asked to remove it. “Hey. Don’t make that face. You’re going to take away the bad thing, and I am going to start over fresh. Hopefully I didn’t fuck anything up too badly at work, and one day... one day I’ll be working on rockets capable of space travel.” Raven stood. “Uh...so. It'll be okay. I know I have a lot to live for or whatever. Just last night...I was feeling weak. The temptation of having an easy escape was too much... but I’m fine now. Or... I will be.”   
  
TTTT  
  
Raven's room, unlike the rest of the living spaces was immaculate. It reminded Luna of the way a soldiers barracks might look. The bed was made well. No creases in the fabric at all. Raven admitted that the only things she had in her room she needed for work or sleep. Luna wondered then why they'd come in to the space, but she waited patiently. "You said that Lark really liked the Azgeda Warriors right?" She went into her closet and pulled out a thick binder full of cards and opened it to show Luna what was inside. "I wasn't much for all of Finn's sportsy stuff, but maybe you can take these. To...remind you of him..." Luna teared up and held the binder in her hands. "I...I couldn't." Raven shook her head. "You said you never went back to your apartment. You should have something that you can hold. Look at. It might bring you peace." Luna smiled. "I may sound like a cultist when I say this, but its the way of my tribe. I go to the sea. The sea brings me peace." Raven cringed remembering that part of her going off on Luna the night before. She really had a lot to make up for. "Well, they are yours now either way."  
She insisted on buying Luna a late lunch. It was pouring down rain and afternoon by the time they were through. “I actually have to fill in for Echo at the bar. She had something come up, but... tomorrow maybe?” Raven covered her mouth and yawned before giving a huge stretch of her arms. She thought to herself she might actually get some real sleep. Her apartment was unrecognizable. All bags and boxes as if she’d just moved it. “Tomorrow works for me. I’m out of work until...well I don’t know.” The girls sat locked in another silence. Raven noticed that happened a lot between them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence by any means. In fact it was kind of nice. To not feel forced to say anything. “Luna...” Luna shoved her hands into her pockets. “Yes raven?” “Can we...be like. Friends?” Then she quickly added, “Not because I don’t have any or anything. I just. It’s been nice. YOU’VE been nice. I was wrong about you.” Luna grinned, “Why, Raven! Are you saying that I am not a try hard and that you want to spent time with me?” Raven lightly punched the now laughing girl in the arm. “Alright. Yeah. That’s what I’m saying. Is that alright?” Luna pulled her into a hug. “Of course it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been pretty rough. I work at a grocery to store of all places in all of the current worlds craziness. I've been typing little bits of this chapter on my phone since I posted the last one.  
> Creating stuff no matter how basic seems to be my escape, and I hope reading my creations can help you too.  
> -much love


	6. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little over a week has passed, and Raven needs a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos everybody.   
> I had been typing out a new chapter on my phone with plans of posting it last week, but when I loaded it up and reread it I hated it. I did get some good bits out of it though to used later.  
> Thanks again for showing your support.

With a deep sigh, Raven confidently closed her eyes. The warmth from the sun seemed to be bathing her exposed skin which helped with the relaxing she was supposed to be doing. She tried to be conscious of her breath. Luna said that meant paying attention to the fact that they were happening. To Raven though, it seemed pointless. Instead her mind wandered to why she didn't want to be at home.The walls were still a bit too familiar for her liking. It wasn’t that she wanted to erase Finn and pretend he’d never existed, it was just so hard to be face to face with his absence. Seeing a soft dent in the wall by the kitchen reminded her of the last time they got drunk and wondered why they didn’t work as a couple. They were dancing and he tried to dip her back and dropped her. Her head hit the wall. Not hard enough to bust through but enough to leave a good size dent they’d never gotten around to fixing. Each scratch on the floor, or chip in the paint held a secret that the two of them knew. Now only she knew them, and now she didn’t know if her heart could take being reminded every day.   
  
Of course, the fact that she was slowly losing her mind due to boredom didn't help. There was nothing to do except look for a new place, and look for new jobs. It was the constant clacking of her fingertips on the keyboard echoing in her now practically empty apartment that had driven her over the edge. She'd agreed almost immediately to Luna's invitation to an afternoon on the water. Then there was the fact that she even had to look for a new job. Without meaning to she cringed thinking about seeing Sinclair days before.....  
Raven sat very still waiting for Sinclair to acknowledge her presence. The secretary had showed her in and announced her. She’d cleared her throat once already after being there for over five minutes, but he seemed to be too busy typing to take notice. A few moments turned into ten minutes, and finally she lost her patience. “I understand if you’re pissed off, but this? We’re not an old married couple. Don’t give me the silent treatment.”There was a pause in typing, but the older male still didn’t look over his computer at her. “Fine.” She huffed. “Fine.” She tried to think of what it was she’d wanted to say before she lost it and just flew off the handle. “I’m still going to say what I have to say damn it. I’m sorry. I know you went out on a limb for me to get me on this project. I’m sorry I fucked it up.” The typing sound stopped completely. “I had a lot of shit on my mind after what happened to Finn and I... I was out of line to show up practically sweating booze every day. I’m even sorry I beat the shit out of Murphy.” Sinclair turned and looked at her finally. She couldn’t read his expression, but she was glad to have his attention “Well okay he deserved it. So maybe not so much sorry that it happened... but I shouldn’t have done it in the hangar. So. I’m sorry about that.” Her hand trembled as she slid her access badge across the desk.   
Raven knew Sinclair wouldn’t have a choice but to fire her. She’d realized it when she’d woken up after a nearly solid fifteen hours of sleep. She’d put him in a tough situation and not only did she get herself taken off the project, but Murphy too. She’d broken three of his fingers. Two men off the team during a NASA contract. They’d never get another one if they couldn’t meet the deadline, and she’d basically ensured that they wouldn’t. She watched Sinclair’s stony expression fade when he saw her badge. He cleared his throat. “I should have made you take time off. The pressure of this project is a lot for anyone...so I take responsibility for that. Your well-being should have come first.” He put his hand over her badge and pulled it to him. “You’re a great mechanic Reyes. Probably the best to ever come through here. I’m sorry-” He seemed to choke on the remnants of what he wanted to say. Raven understood and gave him a brief nod before standing, “Hey don’t worry about it. I’m still awesome. And I will always find a way.” She grinned and offered Sinclair her hand, “It was great working with you sir.” She took it better than anyone could have hoped for. Including herself at the time. Now she wished she would have fought for her right to be there. Sinclair had said it himself, she was the best mechanic to ever work there. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a soft sigh. She cracked open one eye to see Luna watching her with a sad puppy dog look on her face. She groaned. “Luna, whaaaaaat?”  
  
TTTT  
  
Luna was silent for the most part until Raven had told her finally what she'd been avoiding saying via text. “So uh...I kinda lost my job.” She winced and the looked over at Raven who had her attention fixed on one of the fishing rods. “What happened?” Raven pauses and then exhaled before explaining, “I deserved it. I was hung over. I hadn’t slept in a few days. Accidentally dropped a wrench and hit another mechanic. He went off. Started calling me a useless cripple...so I beat his ass.” Luna frowned. She tried to imagine what would make anyone think that Raven was a cripple in any way. In fact, the way Luna saw it, her injury gave her strengths many people didn't have. Obviously self restraint wasn't one of those strengths however. She even surprised herself when she heard her own voice say what a small part of her had been thinking, “Sounds like he got what he deserved.”   
She brushed her linen dress down at her sides and cleared her throat softly, “You know what I think?” Raven gave her a lopsided knowing smirk. “Bet you’re gonna say something about the ocean of life again.” Luna let out a dry laugh. “Haha. Yes, but no. Not in the way that you think. When I get angry-“What?? You get angry?” Raven joked before reaching for her bottle of water. “Yes Raven. I do. It used to be a lot worse before I discovered that I was much more than that one empty emotion.” She sat down beside Raven and took a deep breath. “When I get angry, when I am confused, and frustrated...or even scared. I close my eyes and I take a deep breath. I concentrate on my mantra. I let those words carry weight in my heart, and when I exhale I let the weight go. It doesn’t work on the first try. Sometimes not even the second or third. But once you really give in to it, you relax and can focus on getting through whatever it is you’re going through.” Raven watched her and looked as if she wanted to crack another joke. Much to Luna’s surprise she did not. She smiled and took another sip of her water. “So you basically meditate then?” Luna shrugged, “I guess when you put it like that. It’s like...a forced meditation. I think, what am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? Is this what I need to feel in this moment in time? And if it’s not, then I make myself breathe and say my mantra.” Raven nodded, “Okay so what is it?”  
Luna blinked. "What is what?" Raven shifted and seemed to be having trouble with the contraption she now wore on her leg. Luna watched in wonder as Raven’s nimble fingers loosened a few screws in places, and then made quick work of the many Velcro straps along the side. She pulled off the contraption and sank down on to the floor of the deck. “Teach me sensei. I want to force meditate.” Luna looked down at Raven who she’d seen be stubborn, agitated, determined, at the end of her ropes, and now when she looked at her it was like she was seeing another side to her. A hopeful side. Even more hopeful than the day they cleared out her apartment, and for a moment in time her heart stopped beating. That one moment didn’t go unnoticed, but for the time being she would push aside the impulse to figure it out, and help her little bird learn to find inner peace.   
  
She’d been watching Raven’s face for the telltale signs of her restless mind overthinking again. Already she’d had to remind Raven to repeat her mantra on the inhale and on the exhale for deep even breaths. Raven had said “time out” twice. Once to scratch an itch and the other to ask if she thought they should check the fishing rods they’d cast out. Luna couldn’t help but to chuckle at this. For someone who wanted to learn to sit still, Raven was too active. For a few minutes it seemed as if she was doing it. Really relaxing. There was even a faint smile on her lips as her head tilted up to the sun. Luna felt a gentle tug at the corner of her lips. She loved that she was able to witness that short moment of calm. Especially when she watched Ravens smile fade and the smooth lines in her face wrinkle and crease. She sat watching the torment on her face, then watched as Raven peeked at her and then opened brother her eyes. “Luna, whaaaaaat?” Luna realized she must have been making a face and shook her head. “Come on little bird. Let’s check and see if we caught dinner for tonight.”  
  
TTTT  
  
Luna didn’t seem to be at all discouraged that they had only managed to catch two fish worth keeping. Raven shook her head and smile in awe of the fact that even then, Luna simply shrugged and smiled, “Two fish for the two of us. Perfect.” It was really something trying to see the world how Luna saw it. While Raven fumbled with her brace on the blanket covered couch Luna called a bed, she realized something. “You never did tell me what your mantra is.” She heard a slight falter in the rhythmic chopping coming from the kitchenette where Luna was preparing dinner. “The mantra I say belongs to no one.” She explained simply. “It’s is wisdom that was passed down through my people.” Raven abandoned the attempt she was making at putting her brace back on and stood behind Luna. She leaned against the pillar separating the living area and the kitchen. Arms folded across her chest she asked curiously, “Who ARE your people?” Luna simply chuckled to herself. “We were one of the twelve.” Raven frowned slightly. The twelve were only whispered about. It was a myth. They were said to be the original people of the land who lived in twelve clans. Constantly in flux between war and peace until the thirteenth clan arrived and decimated their people. They took their lands and left the remaining survivors of the clans with nothing.  
Luna noted Raven’s new found silence. Unlike the usual silence that rested between them, this one was awkward. “You are allowed to ask Raven.” She swept the onions and peppers she’d chopped into her clay pot and pushed it into the oven. “Yes the twelve really existed. My people were the people of the sea.” She turned in time to see Raven’s face turn a dark shade of red and her stutter a “uh. Oh. Uh.” Luna wiped her wet hands on a towel hanging from the stove and shook her head. “I didn’t. I’m...I’m sorry...” Luna sighed, “You didn’t know. But. Now that you do, you can educate yourself.” Raven chuckled nervously, “And here I thought you were in a cult!” They both looked at each other and then laughed. “And you still agreed to get on a boat with me?”   
They sat down on the couch. “So. Your people...I mean...I don’t really know much. A lot of people think it’s a myth. That there is some sort of cover up...” Luna nodded. “There are too few of us left to tell our stories. My family got lucky. We were healers and the thirteenth clan needed us as much as our own people. The surviving members of the twelve were given a small piece of land to inhabit. We became wonkru. One tribe. And we watched as the world changed around us. My grandparents generation decided to integrate our little tribe with the outside world. Some stayed close to home, others went to places they’d only seen on tv.” Raven swallowed and looked at her with eyes wide. “So it’s true. This land was won by committing genocide...” Luna cleared her throat. It had been a long time since she’d told the story of her ancestors, but it didn’t affect her any less. “Yes. But that is the history of much of the world."  
  
Raven couldn’t believe that she’d never given much thought to what remained “conspiracy theories” drunk men in bars mutter, and far reaches of internet had laid out. It was a lot to take in, and for some reason she didn’t know how to proceed in the conversation. Luckily for her, Luna changed the subject herself after a few moments of awkward silence. “I know you’re used to working on like rockets, and all that stuff but... Echo had to take some personal time, and I’m short staffed at the moment as is...” Raven started. “Are you offering me a job?” She watched Luna smirk at her cheekily. “Noooo. I am asking for help. It would be very low pay compared to what you’re used to. You'd be up all hours of the night..." Luna was totally offering her a job. Raven couldn't help but to wonder what she'd done right to fall ass backwards into this friendship. "As long as the pay is enough to at least rent a room, I'm golden."   
  
Dinner was amazing. Raven hadn't expected much considering how little she'd seen of the preparation. She spooned the last bit of broth and potato into her mouth and then just sat back on the couch and smiled. She wasn’t thinking about genocides, or lost dream jobs. She wasn’t even thinking about her apartment. She was in good company with a belly full of beer and good food. “That was fantastic.” She finally said before closing her eyes. A smile played on Luna’s lips. “Well anything would taste good to a girl who somehow survives on take out and cheap liquor.” Raven chuckled. “And Instant coffee. Which, I don't recall you complaining about." She to Luna, watching her lick her own spoon clean with a grin.  
Luna was fine with Raven insisting that she be allowed to do the dishes. It was still more of a team effort anyway since Raven didn’t know where everything went. It was easy to notice by her laugh when Luna put soap bubbles on her nose that she was a lot more at ease now than when she’d arrived. That’s all Luna wanted was to see her relaxed. Maybe one day genuinely happy. It was alright dark out, but this was the first day Luna had had off all week. She insisted Raven stay and look at the stars with her. So they took a few blankets up on deck and sat bundled up. Raven of course pointing out each star and satellite she recognized. Luna found herself smiling each time a story was told. This is where Raven’s passion was and it showed. She was so caught up in just watching and enjoying her time with Raven that it took her a moment to recognize footsteps behind her. She turned just in time to see Echo standing there with her luggage. “Oh.” Her face was swollen and puffy from what Luna assumes were hours of crying. “I didn’t realize you had company....I’ll just go...” Luna stood and embraced Echo. “No. Of course you won’t. Go put your things downstairs. I’ll get the margarita mix.” This was all a part of the process. She’d done it many time before. This time though, Echo had a dead look in her eyes.   
Raven pulled herself up and watched Luna wipe the tears from Echos face and talk quietly to her. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but she thought better of it and cleared her throat giving an awkward wave of the hand. “I’ll just head out.” Echo didn’t give her a second glance, but that didn’t bother her. It was seeing the lost expression on Luna’s face. “Okay Raven. Please message me when you make it home.” She turned to go down the stairs, but Raven reached out and grabbed her arm. Their eyes met briefly, and then it was Raven who pulled HER into a hug. “We’re friends now. I don’t know about meditation and all that but...if you need me, I’m her for you too. You know?” Luna nodded against her chest and gave a soft huff. “Thank you.”  
  
TTTT  
  
Raven wasn’t expecting a text back. Echo had looked pretty upset and she knew that Luna had lost her phone somewhere on the boat when she chased a seagull out of the cabin that morning. She sent a short one.  
‘Hey Luna. Made it back. Gonna try to sleep.’  
She set the phone down and stripped off her shirt. She was about to pull the black sports bra she wore over her head, but she saw her phone screen light up and picked it up.   
‘Thank you for letting me know. I’m sorry the night ended early. Echo just told me that Roan is leaving her for a younger woman, and he wants to take their children with him. It’s going to be a long night. If you can’t sleep I can still text.’  
Raven pulled her hair band out letting her hair fall just past her shoulders and then replied.  
‘That’s rough. I’m sure she appreciates you being there for her. I know I do.’  
She hit send before she reread it and thought maybe she should elaborate.   
‘Appreciate you being there for me I mean.’  
She set the phone back down and finished changing into her night shorts. She left the room long enough to brush her teeth and came back to see she missed two messages.   
‘Thank you. I’m glad you came to your senses and realized that I’m awesome. Lol’  
‘I enjoyed listening to you talk about the stars. Maybe we can do this again some time.’  
And then Raven felt a clench in her gut. The afternoon she’d spent with Luna had been great. She learned more about why Luna was so fucking weird, about meditation, how to fish...she had fun for the first time in a long time. Of course she wanted to do it again. She flopped onto her back and read the messages again.   
‘Of course we can. Depends on what nights my new boss lets me have off. :P’She plugged in her phone but held it in her hand. She realized that the faint smell of the ocean was still on her skin. Raven recurved one more message.   
‘I heard she’s some sort of cultist. You might want to be careful. Lol. Good night little bird. I hope you dream of the skies.’  
Raven stared at the message and smile before drifting off to sleep.   



	7. Big Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The suspense leading up to a night under the stars.

“Finn!!” He was hiding from her, but she could still hear him faintly singing, “Raaaaaaaaven! OoOh Raaaaaaaven!” Just like when they were kids. Raven sprinted as hard as she could, weaving through the trees without the burden of her injured leg. In dreams her body was always whole. Branches scratched at her face and arms as she clumsily tried to shove them to the side. When she finally reached a clearing, Finn was on the far side of it waving at her and then he took off again. It seemed hopeless, but Raven knew she couldn’t give up. The skies darkened around her and she could hardly see or hear Finn anymore, but still Raven ran. “Finn!!! Fiiiiiiiiiiinn!!!!”

Sweat had dampened the navy bed sheets Raven was tangled in. Her breath was labored and short, but she tried to get a grip on herself. If Luna were there she’d tell her to breathe. To ask herself what she was feeling, why she was feeling it. Raven struggled to deepen each breath, but she couldn’t force herself to meditate. She knew what she was feeling, and no amount of breathing and talking to herself would change that. “Finn” she croaked quietly into her pillow.

TTTT

Luna wasn’t usually one to get in the middle of Roan and Echo's mess, but this time was different than times before. Seeing the spirit of someone you love being so crushed beyond hope had a way of changing things. When Jasper ran back to get her she’d thought he was screwing around again and reminded him there was no “jamming” in the kitchen area. He skidded to a halt. “Echo is getting into it with this guy. It looks like it’s getting physical.” Luna pulled the pan she’d been cooking in off the stove and stormed to the front of the house. Laying eyes on him made her physically ill. He wore the slimiest of smirks as Echo shoved him back. She was yelling something at him, but Luna’s voice boomed through the space causing her three usual patrons and the bickering pair to look at her. “Roan! You are not welcome here!” Roan nodded once at her. “Boss, I’m here for my last check.” Luna snarled. Of course he wasn’t there to see Echo. The curly haired woman untied her apron slowly. Each breath she took was a steady one. When she approached him she looked up sternly. “Roan. You. Are not. Welcome here. You need to leave.” It was clear by the look on her face that she was raging even if the tone of her voice sounded like it would calm the wildest of beasts. “I can’t get my final pay check?” That annoying grin still painted on his face just would not do. Luna only stood shoulder level to pretty boy Roan. She also didn’t care. With one swift flick of her wrist, his vulnerable parts were held tight in the palm of her hand. Roan smacked at her arm. “Let go!” Luna’s head tilted and her hand twisted as far right as it would go. This time Roan’s breath caught in his throat and he all but sank to his knees. “Your last paycheck is gone. Don’t you fucking show your face around here again. Am I clear?” She let go of him and watched as he spit on the ground just in between the two of them and shook his head “Yeah whatever...”

TTTT

It was Raven’s night off, but the bar with no name in the Jade Dragon Market was a home away from home for her. She worked there most nights, and on the nights she didn’t work there, she ate there and spent time with friends there. It seemed since sleep was not going to come back she may as well go visit. She expected that Jasper would be scraping the gum off the bottoms of the tables, and singing whatever he was listening to in his headphones very loudly. Luna would probably be serving drinks. If Echo showed up to work though, she’d be in the back cooking. Raven smiled remembering the last time she’d come in on a night off to see Luna slicing potatoes by hand as if anyone really appreciated the extra effort she’d put in to a potato dish served at the best worst bar in the city. She’d been standing there a whole minute just watching the simple back and forth of the knife and how natural Luna made it look. More than that, was the content look on her face. Sure Luna was passionate about her boat and fishing, and her love affair with the sea, but Raven could tell that making things made her far happier. 

After she’d been caught standing there like some sort of stalker, Luna showed Raven how to hold the knife. How to slice, dice...there were other things Raven couldn’t remember. What she did remember was the way it felt to feel her problems melt away under Luna’s unassuming touch and gaze. She wanted another night like that. Craved it in fact, but she expected that Echo would be having a rough night and that Luna would be hurriedly working the bar and the kitchen again.  
The last thing Raven Reyes expected was to get a front row seat to Luna losing her shit on some guy she’d never seen before. He looked like the sort of guy they put on a white horse in women’s fantasies on TV movies. Kind of. There was something kind of dirty looking about him too. Raven didn’t get much chance to really observe him because when she walked up she saw spit fly from his mouth down on Luna’s boot. She couldn’t make out what was being said. It was in the trig language Luna and some of the others spoke sometimes. But the look on Luna’s face told Raven what was going to happen. Before he could finish saying his peace Luna’s left hand swung. The asshole blocked Luna’s first swing but neglected to consider that it had been a distraction. She watched him go down like a ton of bricks. Luna’s knee must have found its target. Raven wanted to speak. She wanted to call out to her, but she stood and watched as Luna’s eyes grew more and more crazed. She was kicking this person where ever her foot could reach. The head and the chest mostly. Raven pushed through Echo who was begging Luna to stop, and Jasper who had his phone out and was recording the incident.  
She silently stepped behind Luna and grabbed her from behind. She leaned back and tightened her grip around Luna’s arms lifting her off the ground. She knew if she didn’t announce herself she’d get a dose of the same thing this stranger had gotten she backed up enough that Luna’s kicking wouldn’t hit anyone else and then loosened her grip. “Luna! Luna listen to me. This is not you!”

Luna spun around to see Raven of all people trying to calm her down and stopped. Raven looked...she looked worried? Scared? For once, Luna couldn’t read her. “Let’s...let go to your office okay?” She felt Raven’s hands tug at her own, and then listen as she desperately called back to the first night they’d spent together, “I don’t feel like being alone tonight. You know?” Luna’s body was still tense, but she let Raven pull her into her own office and slam the door shut. Once they were there Luna folded her arms across her chest the way she’d seen Raven do dozens of times. “Can’t sleep little bird?” She knew changing the subject wouldn’t work, but it could buy her some time. “I was hoping you would visit tonight. I brought in some more-“ Raven had her own arms crossed but dropped them to her sides and her shoulders sank. “Luna... if you tell me he deserved it, I believe you. I know a lot of assholes who deserve it. But did you deserve it?” Luna’s brow furrowed. “Deserve? What do you mean?” Raven put her hand on Luna’s shoulder. “Don't you deserve better than to slide back into the angry person you hated being?” Luna’s expression gave way to chuckle only to give way to a full bellied laugher causing her to double over. She pulled Raven into a tight hug. “Oh Raven. You make me so happy. Ever my grumpy little bird, but you DO listen to me when I speak...” 

Raven sank down against the door of the office and looked up at Luna. “Of course I listen. I try to be...a better version of myself because of you.” She watched Luna kneel down in front of her and rest her chin on Raven’s bent knees. “You are always the best version of yourself Raven. With or without me. As long as you try.” Raven felt it again. That warmth that filled her being when Luna looked at her. Raven’s fingertips pushed a strand of Luna’s hair back behind her ear. She caught a faint blush rise on Luna’s cheeks, and smiled. Her eyes wandered to those lips she’d caught herself day dreaming about more than once, but then she looked away. “Who is that guy anyway?” 

Luna could see it clearly. Raven’s desire for her. It had been a tiny slowly budding thing at first. Easily ignorable, but the more time they spent together, the harder it was for Luna to convince herself she hadn’t felt it too. But something was holding Raven back. Raven who was always bold and straight to the point was holding herself back. So Luna had been waiting as patiently as she could. “That would be the infamous Roan.” Luna laid with her head in Raven’s lap enjoying how light her muscles felt after how tense she’d been before they gone to her office. “He did deserve it. I’m sure later I may even regret it.” Raven absentmindedly took her fingers through the mess of hair on Luna’s head and finally told her why she’d come.  
“I had that dream again,” Luna looked up at the bottom of Raven’s chin as she spoke. “I don’t understand it. I know what’s going to happen in the dream, but every time... I’m just so hopeful and sure I’ll catch up to him. And terrified not to.” Luna knew which dream. It had been a few weeks since the last time. That was good though. The further apart the dreams were, the better shape Raven was in. Luna spoke softly. “I think you’re terrified in the dream because you think you’ll be alone if you don’t find him. As long as I am here... you’ll never be alone.”

TTTT

It was no surprise that Roan chose to not get the police involved, and instead just leave as he was originally asked to. Echo went back to the safety of standing behind the bar. No one knew how to react to Luna. Jasper of course was as excited as a kid in a candy store. He wanted to know where she’d learned to fight, if he could post the video on some website. Echo seemed to be glaring daggers into her, but that was a conversation for later. For now she just wanted to get out. She hooked her arm in Raven’s and they left without a word.

It was still cool out by the water at night, but Raven hardly felt it. Her hands were in fists shoved deep into her jacket pockets anyway. “What did he say to you?” Luna took a deep breath and look up at the overcast sky. “Things he knew would make me angry.” Luna was good at avoiding answering questions when she wanted to be. Raven just looked at her. “Well...do you think that’s why he came? To start trouble?” Luna nodded. “More than likely. I don’t want to talk about him...” There was nothing else to say. Raven knew that Luna never pushed her, and she wouldn’t push Luna. When she was ready, she’d talk. 

“I’m thinking of training Jasper to run the bar.” Luna said out loud when they reached her boat. She saw Raven consider the idea and then shake her head. “It’s a risk. He would probably drink as much as he sold.” Luna smirked. “I’ll have you know, he hasn’t had a drop since his first night. Besides. It wouldn’t be permanent. It’d just be so that I could have a night off even if Echo is otherwise engaged so that maybe we can come out when the stars are out. Like we talked about...” she spoke carefully and watched the idea roll around behind those bright eyes she loved looking into. “Y-yeah. I guess if it’s only for a night. Every once in a while... but what about Roan?” Luna shook her head. “Roan might come back. But I can’t live my life in fear of what men might do. Not when I can look forward to what you might do.” With a wink she turned and walked to her boat. “Text me when you get home Raven!”

TTTT  
It had been a month of training Jasper, deciding to hire on yet another person from group who desperately needed a job, rearranging a few schedules, but eventually the day came that Luna Posted the work schedule and it had a day where both she AND Raven were off. She didn’t mention it to Raven, and made no suggestions, but within an hour of having it posted Raven text her from the dishpit. “Do you still want to spend the night listening to me talk about balls of gas?”

The entire week leading up to the “date” Luna noticed several things. Echo’s sour mood seemed to worsen each time it was mentioned. Luna would have felt bad about it only, Raven hadn’t seemed the least bit interested in Echo since that first night really. Luna joked it off the third time she noticed. “What’s wrong Echo? Did YOU want to lay with me under the stars?” But Raven had been walking by with dishes and stopped muttering into Luna’s ear a bit anxiously. “I thought it was just gonna be me and you.” Luna blushed, but she didn’t joke about it any more. “Don’t worry little bird-” Echo rolled her eyes and walked off. Luna was worried that maybe Raven was starting to get cold feet the night before though. “If you want to. You know. Spend time with your cousin instead. I can understand. She’s going through a hard time.” Luna had expected Raven to worry, but not about whether she’d regret spending time with her over Echo. Luna giggled into the phone and bit her lip. She was through choosing her words carefully. “No Raven. I thought I made it very clear that I’d rather spend the night with you.”

Raven was nervous all week. She didn’t know if she should treat this like every time they hung out, or if she should try to make her intentions clear. She tried going to Echo and trying to sus out if she knew anything about what was going on in Luna’s mind, but the eagle eyed woman sensed the trap before Raven even laid it and shut down immediately. “Did you really come over here to ask me if Luna likes you?” Raven nearly spit out her sweet tea. “N-no...I mean...she’s been pretty neutral. And I think she started flirting with me. Or maybe I just...want her to be flirting? I don’t know.” That made Echo snort loudly. “What makes you think I want to hear about it?” So Raven was no closer to figuring anything out than she had been before, but she had made an enemy out of Echo who seemed to take small joys in dumping expired ingredients and trash in with the dishes buckets. 

She decided that whether it was a date or not, she wanted Luna to feel special. She’d been a big part of Raven’s life and a positive influence. She deserved everything as far as Raven was concerned. The night before the star gazing was meant to take place though, Raven had gone to the spot she’d planned on taking Luna and discovered a lot of buildings had popped up since the last time she’d been there. It made it hard to see what she wanted to. Sheepishly she called Luna to give her a chance to back out. “No Raven. I thought I made it very clear that I’d rather spend the night with you.” The response she got was more straight forward than she was expecting, but not as spelled out as she needed it to be. So finally Raven forced a laugh. “If I didn’t know any better Luna I’d say you were flirting with me.” She held her breath eyes shut tight as if it would make her hearing any better. “Oh Raven...” she heard Luna voice come back breathy and so thick with sweetness. “Flirting with the sky is as pointless as flirting with the sea.” Raven’s voice felt physically stuck in her throat. She heard Luna giggle again and say, “My break is over soon, but can I look forward to you picking me up tomorrow?” 

TTTT

Luna had been as patient as she could. She even denied what was clearly developing because of the timing of everything. Raven was grieving, and her life was being turned upset down. She lost her job and moved apartments. It could be that maybe Raven was confusing being grateful for having a friend with catching feelings. She’d even admitted that she had similar confusing emotions about Finn for a while. Luna didn’t want to be another Finn. She met up with Clarke to go over the situation at the bar later while she and a Raven had their evening together. Clarke seemed to be amused with how nervous Luna was. 

Clarke sipped her Frappuccino and nodded. “I mean it makes sense. You don’t want to rush into anything and ruin your friendship...” Luna watched as the blonde trailed off. “Why do I feel like there is a but coming?” Clarke focused back on Luna. “No buts. I’ll just say that, you helped me. We’re friends. You’re not struggling with your feeling when it comes to me. You know we’re friends. There’s something about Raven for you, and I think you owe it to yourselves to find out.” Luna considered it for a moment and picked up her hot tea with both hands. “There IS something about her. At first I thought that maybe this was my chance to... I don’t know. Make up for not helping Lark when I could have but...It just feels so effortless and natural to be close to her.” Luna looked down at her hands. “I’m just worried about why she pulls away from me. Any time it looks like things could go...any intimate direction she gets this look on her face... and then she doesn’t touch me or hardly look at me.” 

“It’s been a while. Maybe it’s time you ask her.” When they parted ways to get rest for the day Luna knew Clarke had been right. She could talk to Raven about anything. Why should this be any different?

TTTT

There was a knot in Raven’s gut as she stared at her phone. She should text Luna. She always text Luna when she woke up. They were meeting in a few hours. It would be strange for her not to. She got up and brushed her teeth still thinking about what to send. When she went back to her room she typed,  
‘Good afternoon.’ Then erased it. Maybe after coffee. 

Raven pulled her straight black hair into a ponytail and sighed staring at her phone as the coffee pot dripped it’s bitter nectar into her cup.  
‘Wanna grab some food befo’  
She erased it. Much to her surprise a few minutes into staring deep into her hot drink, she heard a beeping notification that snapped her out of her thoughts.  
‘Good afternoon little bird. I hope you don’t feel like I’ve pressured you into spending time with me. I understand if you want to enjoy your night off alone. We can always hang out some other time.’

Raven could feel that knot turning in her stomach. Is that what she thought? That she was pressuring her into tonight? Raven set down her coffee and began typing.  
‘I could never feel pressured to spend time with you. I’m sorry if I made you think that...is it okay if we take the boat out? The place I was going to take you is pretty crowded.’

Before she even set the phone down Luna replied,  
‘Of course. I’ll make dinner.’

TTTT

Luna tried not to wait by the door to hear Raven’s usually determined foot falls. She opened the refrigerator and pressed the back of her hand to the beers she’d kept just for when she had guests. Maybe one or two wouldn’t be a bad thing. She chewed her lip after she’d opened the glass bottle and took a breath. “Just to take the edge off.” 

Raven hefted her telescope, book, and blanket up the ramp thinking maybe she should have announced herself first and then gone back for them. Arms full, she gave two heavy knocks. A very sad looking Luna came to the door. “Luna...what’s wrong?” Luna stepped to the side. “I...I burned the rice.” Raven set her things down and rushed to the sink where a it with a blackened bottom sat under running water. She chuckled. Digging a finger into a solid inch of charred rice she turned to Luna, “That’s burnt alright.” Luna closed the door and sighed. “So much for a nice dinner.” Raven could see Luna was genuinely upset about the rice a paused. “You are a great cook. I’m sure whatever you made to go with it will be phenomenal without rice.” Luna looked up at her and Raven nodded. “Screw the rice.”

Luna spooned the chicken she made into bowls while Raven did her best with a metal spatula to remove the brick of burnt from the bottom of a pan. Dinner was okay. Not what she had planned but a Raven helped herself to a second bowl of just chicken and vegetables so that had to be a good thing. Luna watched her. All the nervous energy she’d build up around tonight seemed so silly now. It was how it always was with Raven. So simple and effortless. Raven talked about how excited she was that her telescope fit in her tiny hatchback. Luna told her about the farmers market she’d gotten her food from. There was no pressure.

When they left the city behind a Raven admired The reflection of the sky against the rippling waters, and she didn’t once regret her decision to come. She did however wish she’d thought of a smooth way to ask Luna all the questions she’d been dying to ask. But there was no point. Raven knew she was a broken person, and Luna needed someone who was... better. That wasn’t her. Not yet. They stood side by side leaning in the railings, and Raven listened in awe as Luna told her about her mantra finally. “It translates roughly to ‘I give myself to the miracle of the sea.’ The push and the pull. The good and the bad. What will be will be. Sometimes it’s good to give your faith to a higher power.” Raven repeated the words she previously didn’t understand watching Luna’s mouth. The way it moved when she spoke and mimicked it. “It sounds magical when you say it.” She said softly. Luna just laughed and pat her hand. “It will sound magical when you say it when day too. When you mean it and when you get better at speaking trig.” 

There was a pause. Luna could see that light behind Raven’s eyes flicker, and for a moment she thought maybe now was their moment. After months of build up, on a Friday night, under the setting sun and rising stars that Raven Reyes would Make the first move. But then she watched that light go dim just as quickly as it came. Remembering her conversation with Clarke from that morning Luna opened her mouth to ask Raven why she kept holding back. Instead she said, “Tell about her.” Raven’s brow quickly furrowed with confusion. “The first girl you liked. What was she like?” 

Raven was thrown off by the question but was glad for the distraction. “Her name was Thea. We had chemistry together. She was...I don’t know. Finn said she was plain looking, but now that I think about it, he was probably just jealous that we hadn’t worked out. I liked how serious she was when she raised her hand. She talked like someone who wrote textbooks, but outside of that she was so soft spoken and kind. I watched her feed a stray cat that cane on to campus during lunch.” Raven smiled as if she were still in the courtyard looking in on that moment. “It didn’t hurt that she was tall, athletic, great tits...” she looked over at Luna who was occupied looking out at the water. “We never got together though. She liked military guys with thick necks and low IQs.” For a moment raven hesitated. She knew she should ask Luna about her live life, but did she want to know? Would it make her resentful?

“What about you? Who was your first. Uh...crush?”  
Luna glanced at a Raven and then turned her attention back to the water. “My first crush?” Then she laughed. “The ocean of course.” Raven clicked her teeth and sighed. “Of course.” Luna cleared her throat. “I’ve never really been interested in...people. Not like that. I always had Lark. He completed me. And when boys, or girls took a liking to me I never turned them down. I was never serious either. After lark died I didn’t WANT to be in a relationship because no one would ever complete me the way he did. So when I had physical needs I would choose someone to spend time with. But I was never serious. Save one time.” Now she fully turned toward a Raven. “And you? Have you ever been...serious?”

Raven felt her heart beating out of her chest. Everything Luna had just said further confirmed that no one was good enough for her. She was so stupid to think anything she thought was going on was more than Luna’s carefree policy with physical contact. “Serious? Me? No. I uh. I didn’t have a lot of dating experience before the accident. And after. Well... as you can imagine, all of my former prospects dried up.” 

TTTT

Luna wrapped herself up tight and peered through the telescope at the stars raven had set it to look at. This was even better being to see them up close. There was a book of constellations Raven flipped through to point them out again that explained the naming of the constellations and ages of the stars. It didn’t matter. Raven knew every word on every page and repeated them without a second thought. Once they were through looking at all the hard to see ones Luna pouted. “Tell me more about the others.” So they laid down like they had before side by side and Raven would point out the shapes and tell her all about Greek and Roman myths, the calendar systems, the moon. “Her name is Luna you know? And it’s kind of funny. The moon was once said to control the tides of the ocean. Of course, it’s the moon AND the sun. But. You give all this power and worship to the waters... and they actually worship you. Well...your namesake anyway...”

Raven trailed off when she realized Luna was propped up on her elbow listening to her speak. The stars haloed around her head of soft curls and a Raven couldn’t help but to wonder what the harm would be in just pulling her down and laying a kiss on her. Then everything they’d talked about earlier crept in and she turned away to sit up. When she turned back toward Luna she saw the intensity in hers eyes and it startled her. “I...wasn’t trying to be disrespectful of your beliefs. I just. Thought it was interesting.” A sad smile painted those perfect lips and then Luna spoke. “You always say the most interesting things Raven.” It was hard to tell how she was meant to take that. 

Luna put her hand on a Raven’s shoulder and slowly tugged her closer. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re afraid of me?” Raven of course laughed and looked as if she’d crack a joke like she always did to diffuse situations but this time the chuckling died off and she could see that Raven didn’t know how to answer. Luna didn’t stop until their noses very nearly touched. So softly she spoke she was afraid her words would be lost in the blowing of the wind and the lapping of water at the bottom of the boat. “I won’t hurt you Raven.” Her voice grew husky and thick as she spoke. “If I am the moon, then you are the sun. Always running and denying me your warmth.” She looked down and caught the most tender sight of Raven’s lip quivering. 

“Luna I...” Raven’s mind drew a blank. Of all the things she thought would happen in this night, Luna sounding so hurt and pleading for answers while trying to seduce a kiss from her lips was not even in the top fifty. She couldn’t say what she herself had no words for. All she knew was that it was a beautiful night, and she was laying with a beautiful woman who wanted her. In whatever capacity, Luna wanted her warmth. And Raven desperately wanted to give it to her.


	8. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of the date, and the start of something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one feels a bit short, but has been my favorite chapter to write this far. I added a tag. It is fairly minor but inappropriate stuff maybe in this one. Probably a lot more in the future so...just a heads up.

The slow rocking of her home that was usually so peaceful and relaxing agitated Luna. She couldn’t sleep. Pictures of Raven crawling away from her after their lips finally met, and that disgusted look on her face haunted the backs of her eyelids. What had she done? Had she projected her feelings on to Raven? Was it all just in her head and she ruined their perfect friendship? She groaned at the failure of what Raven considered forced meditation. The miracle of the sea and what will be will be. Why hadn’t she just left what would be or not be alone? Luna practically leapt from her bed remembering how Raven refused to look at her and only apologized over and over. It was too much. She had to do something. So of course she went to work. It was early morning, she had paperwork to do and orders to write anyway. Why not get them done during the day for once?

TTTT

Raven wanted to give herself over to Luna any way she would take her. With their lips so close it was hard to resist the temptation. “Luna...” she muttered softly before pressing her lips against the ones before her. It was perfect. Just as soft and sweet as she’d always imagined it. The soft stutter of Luna’s breath into the kiss proving how much she’d anticipated it. This was a dream. She knew it had to be because Luna was everything amazing about the world, and Raven... was just a girl with a bum leg and a sad story. She could never be with someone like Luna. She wasn’t ever going to be enough. Just like that she snapped out of it and tried to stand only managing to slip on the blanket beneath her. Instead she crawled away. “I. I’m sorry Luna I can’t. I’m sorry.” Luna sucked in breath after seeing her fall and stood with her arms outstretched. “Raven please. Just talk to me.” But Raven couldn’t. She couldn’t form any other words. She couldn’t breathe. “I’m sorry. So so sorry.”

The trip back to land had been quicker than the one out to open water. She was relieved that Luna didn’t keep trying to talk to her and in fact had disappeared. It gave her time to think. She’d just freaked out after one little kiss. Even her sense of humor couldn’t bail her out of it. When the boat stopped and Luna let down the ramp Raven looked at her for the first time since her melt down. She should say something anything right now to make this okay. Instead she weakly let out “T-thank you. For. Dinner...” and rushed as fast as her leg would let her off of the boat.  
Once she got to her car, she sat inside without even putting the keys in the ignition. “Fuck fuck fuck!!!” Her hands slammed down onto the top of the steering wheel. “Fuck!” Tears welled up in her eyes, but she wiped them away. Why couldn’t she just enjoy the night without ruining it? She knew she should go home. But what would she do at home? Cry over a kiss? No. Raven finally started the car and decided to go to a bar she hadn’t been to since her college days.

TTTT

Raven wasn’t sure how many drinks she’d had. Enough though. She finally felt numb. A woman with kinky, dirty blonde hair sat down next to her and ordered a drink without giving Raven a second glance. Raven turned to her. “Hi. I’m Raven.” The woman smiled shyly. She was older. That was fine with Raven. “I’m Tammy.” Raven took a confident swing of her drink. “Hey Tammy. I like those boots on you. Let me buy you a drink.” The woman giggled and nodded. Good. This would be a good distraction. 

Tammy discovered her sexuality late in life and was new to the bar scene. She thought Raven was cute and totally never did anything like this. Raven knew because she listened to the woman talk. And the more drinks she had the more she repeated herself. They ended up in a booth with her straddling Raven’s waist and their tongues in each other’s mouths. This is what Raven deserved. To make out with drunk strangers she’d never speak to again. Her fingers ended up the woman’s skirt past the panties she was wearing. They were damp, and hot but the woman grabbed Raven’s wrist. “A-are you serious? We just met!” Raven scoffed. “Yeah, and you just got real intimate with my tonsils. Are we gonna do this or not?” The swift slap to the face suggested not.

TTTT

“What are you doing here? Date with the gimp keep you up all night?” Echo smirked bitterly. Luna wanted to knock her front teeth out for talking about Raven that way. Instead she feigned a coy smile. “You have no idea.” And walked straight to her office. Elbows on her desk and head in her hands, Luna choked back tears. It was hard to believe that at about this time the day before she was about to meet Clarke for coffee, and was so hopeful about how her night would go with Raven. She’d ruined it. 

‘I know you’re mad at me, but please tell me you made it home okay.’

She sent the text and slid her phone to the side. Usually Raven sent her a message back right away. Maybe things would be different now. She distracted herself by getting to the mountain of papers on her desk.  
Ten minutes passed, and Luna had reread the same piece of paper three times. Her phone buzzed once. Twice. By the third time she picked it up and saw that Raven was calling her. She quickly answered it and was greeted with Raven sounding muffled, “Luna. I need you. Can you come over?” She jumped up and grabbed her keys. “Raven are you at home? Are you okay?!” Raven didn’t say anything for a short while. Then replied, “I’m hurt. I need... can you please?” 

Luna didn’t bother hanging up. We put Raven on speaker phone when she got to her car, and tried to ask her what was wrong. It didn’t become clear to her until she’d started driving that Raven was drunk. He speech was slurred and she wasn’t understanding the questions Luna asked her. “I’m on my way little bird. Just hold on okay?” That only made Raven cry. 

TTTT

Raven wrapped a tea towel over her steadily bleeding hand. Punching things was not a good idea as it turned out. Luna was talking to fast and Raven wanted to tell her what happened but things were feeling fuzzy. She didn’t want to call Luna, but she didn’t know who else she could call. Sweet, gorgeous Luna who shouldn’t even be talking to her was on her way. “...little bird. Just hold on okay?” Came from the phone on the counter. All Raven could do was cry. She called her little bird. Even after what she’d done. 

A few minutes later she heard a loud constant banging. It made her head hurt. She looked at her phone. It was blank. She tapped the screen to see that it was pitch black. “Damn it.” It had died. “Raven! Raven it’s me!” Raven pulled herself up and slowly shuffled to the door. She felt dizzy on top of having the spins. With her right hand she struggled to get the door open and saw Luna looking wild eyed and frantic. “Raven what-” 

Luna looked down at Raven’s hand and grabbed at it. “What happened? Let me see!” That’s what she said but instead she grabbed Raven and held her tight. “Oh my god. I didn’t know what to expect. Your phone went dead and. I almost called the police!” Then she pulled away and took Raven’s hand. The towel wrapped around it was soaked through with blood. “Okay. Shit. Come on.” 

TTTT

First aide kits didn’t have anything to do stitches any more, but Luna made due with super glue. “My mom was a nurse. She used to do with with Lark when he fell out of trees. It happened. A lot.” Raven’s tilted back and she sighed. “Goooood I’m never drinking again.” Luna put her hands in her lap and swallowed. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.” Raven was just staring at the ceiling. She probably still couldn’t stand the sight of Luna. She took a deep breath. “I have to be honest Raven. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to you. Last night...I just got caught up in...the moment I guess. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me, and... I understand if you don’t want us to be friends.” 

Raven watched Luna clean up the cuts on her hand and felt her heart hammering in her chest. The liquor was wearing off and everything came flooding back at once. Why was this so hard? When Luna looked up at her and explained the super glue Raven couldn’t meet her gaze. Her head was hammering with the same beat as her heart and it was killing her. “...I’m never drinking again.” She was about to thank Luna for coming when she called. For fixing her hand. For just being a fucking rock star when Luna started talking. Raven blinked and then finally look at Luna. Really looked at her. She looked terrified. “Luna...it’s not...” she couldn’t help but to laugh. “You think...” she laughed even harder. “You think I’m uncomfortable around you.” Still laughing she wiped tears from her eyes. “You think YOU did something wrong.” The laughter started to calm. Luna sat silently and frowning across from Raven. “Luna. Of course we’re still friends.” She took a few deep breath and let out her last laugh. “We’re never not going to be friends. Hey. Look at me.” She reached her hand out and turned Luna’s face to look at her. “You are the best. Really. If anyone got caught up in the moment it was me. I..I shouldn’t have kissed you. And I shouldn’t have freaked out about it. But I have wanted to do that for so long. And then I realized how different this...thing is for the both of us. I want to kiss you all the time. Because I fucking love you. And you said yourself. You’re not serious about relationships with people. I can’t give you what you want. You can’t give me what I want. It’s just a mix up is all. Not the end of our friendship I promise.”

Luna’s lips pursed together. She hated that Raven had laughed at her, but what she said after just hurt. “Raven...for someone so smart you are such a...” she groaned and stood slowly pacing back and forth. “You can’t tell me that you love me and that you want to kiss me all the time and then say that you can’t give me what I want. That you shouldn’t have kissed me? You don’t KNOW what I want. We never got to talk about it because you... you keep doing this! Every time we get close to something you pull away, and this time you physically pulled away from me! Do you know how it feels to have someone you care about recoil from your touch?-“yes. I do. It’s happened more times than I can count Luna. And I don’t want it to happen again.” There. She’d said it.

Luna stopped and stood slack jaw and confused. “You what??” Raven sighed and stood. Her arms out at her sides she gestured to herself. “This is not going to be enough for you. This is damaged goods. I’M damaged goods! You are going to get tired of me not being able to keep up, of me needing to sit down, of how fucking fucked up I am in the head. And I can take a lot. But I don’t think I can take...losing you.” Raven watched Luna’s jaw lock. The athletic form storm toward her. She felt Luna grab her by the waist and her breath stuttered in her chest. 

This was driving Luna absolutely crazy. The lack of being able to sleep, thinking Raven was near death, hearing Raven say why it is that she was so scared. She needed to settle something once and for all. She walked around the table and pulled her close. Hand on the back of her neck she quickly leaned in and kissed the woman she wanted to be with. It wasn’t harsh or controlling even though her grip was, and she didn’t pull away until she needed to take another breath. “You are many things Raven, but you are not a seer of the future, and you are not damaged goods. YOU are the only person I’ve been serious about. And if you don’t want me because you don’t want me. I’m fine with that. But don’t say you don’t want me because you’re scared. I deserve better than that. And so do you. The little bird I know. The Raven that I care for...isn’t afraid of anything.”


	9. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes. Raven and Luna spend some time apart, and Luna's past catches up to her in an unexpected way.

Luna left without another word leaving Raven to contemplate what had just happened. What had been said. That kiss. Her body shivered when it recalled the harsh embrace that chilled her to the bone, and the kiss that melted everything away. It was better that she was gone. If Luna had stayed Raven would have undoubtedly said something stupid to ruin such an honest and emotional moment. It was surprising to her that she recalled her now dead phone still laying in the kitchen. Losing blood, being on the verge of a hang over, and exhausted both physically and emotionally had her prepared to just fall asleep on the couch she’d sunk into. She’d even closed her eyes, but then she thought about texting Luna when she woke up. She wasn’t happy about it, but Raven dragged herself to the kitchen, grabbed her phone, and very carefully made her way to her bedroom. The dark curtains blocking the sun’s entrance into her room made her sigh happily. Finally sleep.

Raven didn’t have any dreams really. On occasion she’d roll over and in a half sleep daze recall Luna and her intense eyes. When she did wake up she was immediately on edge. Something wasn’t right. She reached for her phone and flinched seeing all the cuts and scrapes on her hand and wrist. And of course there was the gash Luna had superglued shut. Raven looked at how clean and professionally treated it looked and was impressed. Eventually she would have to thank her for that.It took a moment for her phone which was now charged to turn on. But when it did it revealed 2 missed calls, a few social media notifications and a single text from Luna. When Raven looked into the phone calls they had also been from Luna but looking at the time, they must have been from before she’d come over. The text message wasn’t. It actually appeared to be from nine pm. Nine? “Shit!” Raven pushed aside her curtains and saw that it was completely dark. “Fuck...” Never in all the time she’d been working had Raven been late. Not even after Finn died. She read the text from Luna. It was actually surprisingly short. Disappointingly short.   
‘Don’t worry about coming in. Your shift is covered for the night.’

TTTT

It was hard not to take Raven missing helping to unload kegs a bit personal. Granted, Luna was capable of doing it herself, but when Raven found out about it weeks ago she made it her mission to be there and help. Luna could tell that lifting made Raven uncomfortable, but she also knew even then that it was Raven's way of both showing off, and getting to spend a bit of extra time with her. When Raven was late for her shift though Luna stayed surprisingly calm. It would have been easy to overthink things and get anxious, but she knew Raven had been drinking. Heavily. And that she’d hurt herself. That combined with her so so track record with sleeping made it easy to just take a deep breath and overlook it. She text Raven to let her know she didn’t have to come in, took off her longer sleeved shirt to reveal a simple black tank top beneath and took over the dish pit. Problem solved. It didn’t bother her as much as it seemed to bother Echo, but there was a lot bothering Echo now it seemed. Especially when it came to her and Raven. Luna chose to ignore her, and just keep her focus on the dishes. It was a surprisingly effective way to clear her head in fact, and at the near end of her working Raven’s shift, Emori came in to finish up. 

Luna opened the door to her office to see a smirking Raven sitting with her boots crossed on the desk. There was a bouquet of flowers in a vase that Luna was sure hadn’t been there before. Raven pulled her feet from the desk and stood. “When you said my shift was covered you weren’t kidding.” The way those eyes gazed over her body made her feel bare, and vulnerable. Luna felt her cheeks grow warm. “Well....you know. I have to do everything around here anyway.” She retorted weakly trying to keep up with banter. She couldn’t deny that she was excited by the idea that Raven sat waiting in her office with flowers. It was a bit distracting. More so because she could see how confident Raven’s movement was as she walked toward her.   
Raven leaned over reaching her arm behind Luna to push the office door closed so they could have some privacy. Her right hand remained on the door leaving Luna no where to go. She leaning back against the door and looked into Raven’s eyes. That spark ignited and this time there was no hesitation, and no fading. “I’m sorry I’ve been really shitty lately.” She brush her hand across Luna’s sheen covered forehead and pushed her hair back behind her ear. “I shouldn’t have made any assumptions when it comes to you. To us. Everything just feels so good when I’m with you. So right. Things never feel this good without something bad coming after it for me. And you’re right. I was scared. I am still. A little, but I know what I want.” 

Luna’s eyelids fluttered and her breath shortened when she felt Raven’s body lean against hers pushing her further into the door. Her hands reached up to Raven’s face just as she leaned in and caught Luna in a feverish kiss. Her skin felt like it would scorch from the contact it made against cool leather and rough blue jeans, but she pushed back against Raven deepening the kiss. When Raven pulled away from her she gave a single nod. “I want a do over. I ruined your night last night...” she gestured back to the desk she’d been sitting at when Luna walked in. “I got those for you for... our date last night. I chickened out at the last minute.” She stepped to the side gesturing to the vase. 

Luna walked carefully. She almost couldn't believe this was happening. Raven had seemed so anxious and unsure the night before that she almost expected that any second that version of her would return. The last time anyone brought her flowers it was after her brother died. They weren’t nearly this beautiful though. As with anything having to do with Raven the selection was unconventional. Most people got roses or tulips. These looked like something Luna would have found growing up in the mountains. There were long stemmed purple flowers and beautifully scented white flowers with wide round petals. Instead of carnations there were very tiny pink flowering buds she'd never seen before. Luna brushed them with her fingertips. She always thought flowers were kind of cheesy, but having them be from Raven made her smile. It took her a moment, but she spotted the small card that was nearly hidden in the flowers. If Raven had bought her flowers for their date, then words written on this card were the words of a Raven who didn’t know how the night was going to go. She looked back at Raven and then picked up the card. 

“Luna,  
Let’s trade. I’ll tell you about the stars if you tell me about the sea. I didn’t want this to rhyme, but will you go out with me?  
Your Little Bird,  
Raven”

Raven scratched behind her ear. Waiting for Luna’s reaction. There was a long pause and then a giggle. Luna turned holding the card and waved it teasingly. “I see why you chickened out. This is terrible.” Raven stuck her tongue out and feigned a pout. But they both took a step toward one another. “So how about it? You want to tell me about your first love?” Luna grinned and dropped the card. “You know I do. But...only if you write me another poem.” Her arms hooked around Raven’s neck. “I love that you are a woman of many talents. Mechanic, barista, astrologer, poet...” Raven smirked, “What can I say? I’m awesome.”

TTTT

There was something nice about the way their relationship had hardly changed from how it was before that fateful weekend. If they weren't together, they were texting, or talking on the phone. Now was barely any different. Sometimes they didn't even talk. There were several times Raven would be enjoying a cup of coffee and reading in her apartment with Luna on speaker phone while Luna sat in her office filling out food orders, and writing schedules. It was unchanged, but felt so much deeper. Most nights they saw one another at work, and when Raven didn't have work she would come at the end of Luna's shift to help her close and walk her home. On the nights Luna didn't work, Raven would stop by the boat and they'd share a meal after her shift. Some days Raven went back to her apartment to sleep and they'd listen to one another breathe on the phone. But Luna loved the days they spent sleeping at her place. Sometimes they'd just cuddle. Sometimes things went further, but they still hadn't had sex. 

It was different than anything Luna had done before. When she had physical needs she always had options to take care of them. She wasn’t naive. People were drawn to her looks, and how different she was. Admittedly it was nice to have so much attention. Now she only wanted Raven, but it was her turn to be nervous. She had taken the first step in even kissing Raven, but this side of things was something she didn't want to take the lead in. She didn't want Raven to get the wrong idea and make her feel like she was like any of the others Luna had been with. It was nice just feeling Raven respond to the touch of her hands, and she was happy with making out as long as Raven was. That woman had a way of driving her crazy in nearly all the right ways. Until the time was right she was content.  
That being said, she was a bit surprised when she woke to a picture of Raven in her sports bra and basketball shorts still sweaty standing in the full mirror at the gym. The attached message read,

'Found a new way to pass the time when I can't sleep. Missing you.'

Luna all but purred seeing her girlfriend in such a state for the first time. She knew Raven went to the gym on her days off, but it looked like she was finding something to do with her time without work or Luna there to take up her time. Luna rolled over on to her stomach.   
'I approve. But be careful little bird. I might get jealous thinking about all the people who got to see you work up that sweat.'  
Then she quickly added  
'Good morning. I am missing you more.'

Raven chuckled to herself. Luna was finally awake. Luna had gone with Echo and Emori back to their home for some sort of reunion. They did it once a year and would even close the bar for three days. Luna had told her to use the time to relax, but she felt far from relaxed. She had a job interview working at a garage. It wasn’t the work she wanted, but it would be better than nothing. Luna sent her a picture message back of her in her black crop top and pajama shorts laying in bed. The picture was at a difficult angle and Raven admired that she’d gotten her face down to her hips in the picture.   
‘Bet you miss waking up next to me.’  
Raven had been folding laundry, but seeing the message made her sit down. She imaged Luna’s smoky morning voice. The way she smelled of ocean spray and clove cigarettes. Feeling at peace in her arms. It made her chest feel empty and heavy all at once.  
‘I even miss hearing the seagulls outside your window.’  
She held on to her phone expecting a text back. Instead, her phone lit up with a call screen. It was Luna. 

“You can go visit them if you miss them so much. I’m sure they’d enjoy the company.” Raven closed her eyes and smiled hearing that voice. “I only miss hearing them because it means I’m going to roll over and see you already awake and looking out of your window, or down at me. No bra, shirt riding up on your stomach. Dreamy look in your eyes.” Luna groaned. “Ugh Raven. Next time I’m bringing you with me. This is driving me crazy.” Raven could hear a lighter strike close to the phone. Then she heard Luna’s breath pause with her first inhale, then a quick exhale directly into, “How’s everything there? Are you excited about your interview?” Damn it. She’d managed to forget about that and now her anxiety was back. That sharp beating in her chest made her rub just a over her breast as if she could will her heartbeat back to normal. “Uh. You know. The thing is...I’m more worried that I’ll be stuck working on people’s cars for the rest of my life.” She closed her eyes tight and tired to imagine she was sitting in bed with Luna. The boat gently swaying. Luna telling her about her dream of building a sanctuary for people that were lost. But her breaths were getting away from her.  
“Tell me again. About your happy place.” Luna hesitated. “Okay...what’s up Raven?” Raven took a deep breath in, “Because I’m trying to pretend I’m in mine.”   
Luna blinked. “Where is your happy place little bird? In my sanctuary?” She could hear Raven taking quick deep breaths. This job was already making her unhappy and she hadn’t even gotten it yet. When Raven didn’t answer she was about to start just so she could feel like she was helping but Raven answered. “We’re on the boat and the birds are almost too loud and it’s annoying. But I can hear you humming that song you hum when you think I’m sleeping. And then I wrap my arms around you and.. and..” Luna turned and put her feet on the floor. “Breathe love. I’m here. I’m right here. Good. Do you remember the words I taught you? Let’s say them together. Okay?” Once she got Raven to calm down she cleared her throat. “I don’t want you to go. This job. It’s not what you want. And I don’t think you’ll be happy. What about that contractor job on the military base? You sounded excited about it.”   
Raven opened her eyes. “I...I didn’t apply for it. What if they call Sinclair and he tells them I’m-“Raven. Breaths remember? You are amazing. I should know. You tell me all the time.” She actually laughed when Luna said that. “There’s that smile. Look, apply for the damn job. The worst that can happen is everything you fear. But you know what? I don’t think any of those things will happen. And from what you’ve told me about Sinclair, he adores you. Just give it a try. You may be surprised.” Raven bit down on the inside of her cheek, “You’re amazing too you know that?” Luna chuckled. “I know. Listen, I gotta go. I can hear Echo trying to convince my aunt to start breakfast without me.” 

TTTT

Luna kept her talking about Raven to a minimum. Echo had made it a point to try and get the whole family in on harassing her for details their first night there. She seemed to think it was something Luna should be ashamed of, but Luna shut her down instantly. “You didn’t have a problem eye fucking her the first night you saw her. Just because Roan is being a shithead to you doesn’t mean you need to be a shithead to everyone else trying to be happy.” Neither of them had apologized to the other. They never did. That was just how they were.  
But when Luna was caught with her cellphone at breakfast it was Anya who brought it up. Anya was the oldest cousin. Sharp features and very no nonsense. “Texting that girl again?” Echo smirked at her biting into her bacon. Luna’s face flushed. “She’s just a little stressed about finding a new job in her field.” Anya’s eyebrow raised. “And what’s that?” Everyone at the table seemed to lean in or at least look up at her from their plates. “She works on rockets, spaceships, satellites... uh... a lot of stuff. She told me everything once.” Anya nodded impressed. “And Lincoln is okay with you seeing this rocket mechanic?” Now it was awkward. “Lincoln and I...we aren’t together. We just...enjoy each other’s company.” Anya scratched her chin. “Does HE know that?” 

That was such an odd question. And the way she asked... and the way everyone seemed to be eyeing her. Even Echo who had been giving her a hard time as of late looked more concerned than anything else. Luna's eyebrow rose. "Okay... someone tell me whats going on?" Anya cleared her throat, “He’s been by a few times in between his travels to see his mother... and he came by each time asking about you... apparently he has plans to...to propose.” Luna felt her head spin. She hadn’t seen Lincoln in over a year. Hell, they hadn’t even spoken in all that time and yet he’s been by to talk to her family about proposing? Her head was spinning. This could not be happening. Not when everything was going so well, but she remembered what Raven told her that night that worked everything out. 'Things never feel this good without something bad coming after...' She'd lost her appetite completely. Luna stormed out of the kitchen and rushed out on to the patio to get fresh air letting the screen door slam after her. "Fuck."


	10. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven appreciates the little things, and Luna has a long day. (Pretty Luna heavy this time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who leaves kudos and comments. I appreciate all of them. They really keep me determined to finish these chapters. Hopefully things at work get a bit more relaxed soon so I can go back to posting more often. I hope you guys enjoy the drama cooked up for this one.

As much as she had been joking about missing the seagulls, Raven found herself "Just checking in" on Luna's boat. She walked along the damp sidewalk and smiling at the cursed sky rats that squealed and squawked as they pecked at the scraps of trash that spilled from the overly full trashcans along her path. When she reached the floating refuge that she'd grown to love, the pit in her stomach hardened. Luna wasn't there. Raven felt her heart flutter, but the warmth that usually filled her when she approached didn't come. That warmth and feeling of home had nothing to do with where she was. It was all Luna. 

She shoved her hands in her pocket and kept walking. Raven didn’t much pay attention to where her feet were taking her. She was lost in thoughts of random moments with Luna. Watching her dance and hum to herself while she stirred something on the stove. The way Luna would swear in trig under her breath when a particularly difficult patron would demand to speak to the manager within her earshot, or better yet, when Raven was bold enough to grip the inside of her thigh while the made out. Her nearly permanent smile whenever they were finally alone in a room. How attentive she was when Raven spoke. Even when she talked about things Luna didn’t understand Raven always had the woman’s full attention, and was happy when Luna asked questions so she could understand. It was different than what she was used to. Her short unsuccessful run at trying to date had trained her to expect glazed over eyes and the changing of subjects when she got too geeky. Not with Luna. 

Raven sighed defeatedly, but the grin she wore was hurting her cheeks. She pulled her phone out and sent a text to Luna.  
‘You’re always on my mind. Bet you didn’t know that.’  
By the time she’d sent it she realized where she was. She found herself outside of the familiar red brick building where the survivors meetings were held. She wanted to turn and leave, but then she realized that she had no where else to be. Titus approached her cautiously and attempted to smile. It was funny. He was far too serious, and his brow far too low. His attempt made him look like an evil henchman from a cartoon. Raven choked back a laugh and waved, "Sup?" Titus pulled a ring of keys from his jacket. "Sup indeed...I am just surprised to see you here before anyone else." That was fair. When she did show up, she often came right at starting time unless she came with Luna. "Well, I was already in the neighborhood so...figured I could help set up." He didn't protest, just gestured for her to enter the elevator first. 

TTTT

Jasper shared with the group, and it was like he had taken words from Raven's own mind. She had been startled to hear him share. "...I'm excited...happy...but just outside the corner of my mind theres always this thing. I don't know where it comes from. It tells me I'm betraying her. That I shouldn't be so happy. She's barely cold and already I'm enjoying life. And she can't any more." Clarke who was sitting on the other side of him put her hand on his, but didn't say anything. Titus cleared his throat. "That is something that we all no doubt have had. It is important to remember that you have no reason to feel guilt about doing things you enjoy, or being excited about the future. Life is for the living. If all we do is mourn those we lose...what is left?"

Raven sat with her elbows resting on her knees, but leaned back and took a deep unburdened breath. These people all understood what it was she was going through. The feeling she had few words for other than hurt and confusion. For the first time in her life Raven was in a relationship with someone who she knew she loved. She didn’t have to wait and see, or guess when it came to Luna. It was just always there. That was scary in itself. The only other person with whom she’d shared any sort of love with was Finn. It wasn’t romantic as much as it was familial. So this Luna thing was a new, frightening, and amazing adventure where she was learning as much about herself as she was the person she was with. But at least once every day she felt this unshakable thing just in the corner of her mind. It would tell her that she didn’t deserve to be happy. That she didn’t deserve Luna, or her new group of friends while Finn rotted in the ground. 

Those moments were hard. There was no mantra in the world to deal with that grip of guilt. And it only seemed to increase the happier she was, and the less she dreamed of him. Sitting in on this meeting reminded her that she wasn’t alone in this feeling. She still didn’t say anything. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Just being around others who understood was a comfort.

Clarke, and Jasper both sort of gravitated to the elevator when Raven had, and seemed to be excitedly chatting about some sort of plans for sushi. Jasper waved his hand in front of her face while she zoned out. “Ray! You’re coming tonight right?” Raven shook her head to snap out of the confused fog she was in. “To...uh. To what now?” Jasper held up his phone and pointed to a social media invite. “I invited you to my gig. I know your girlfriend isn’t here, so you don’t have anything better to do.” He teased. Raven had grown fond enough of the boy that she actually had to consider whether she wanted to go or not. “I’m not much one for...dancing. So I...” Jasper shot an embarrassed glance at Raven before clearing his throat. “Oh. I mean. You can come chill with me in the booth. I just want all my friends there. This one is important.” And oh how could Raven possibly say no when he stuck out his lower lip in a pout and pressed his palms together practically begging? “Okay cool. Yeah. I’ll be there.”

TTTT

Luna stared off into the trees. She hadn't expected to miss them when she decided to move to the city. And to be fair to the city, there were a few parks scattered around. They did have trees, but they paled in comparison to the magnificent broad branched behemoths that surrounded her childhood home. Her call to the sea had been so strong back then that she never even once considered that she needed both the forest and the water to be truly happy. 

It wasn't long before someone joined her on the porch. She didn't dare turn around. Luna continued to observe the life that was in front of her and take long dissatisfying drags from her cigarette. Eventually the lingering presence moved from behind her to beside her. It was Echo. "I thought you knew about Lincoln...I wasn't just being a bitch because I felt like it...this time...I thought," She pushed her hair back from her face. "Well I thought you were just messing around with Raven as an excuse to push Lincoln away." When Luna didn't respond she sighed. "He's a good match for you. Strong family values, good old Wonkru blood in his veins. And he's crazy about you. Has been since we were kids." Luna turned and shook her head. 

"You know me. I’ve never even dated before! HE knows this. What am I supposed to do? Marry him and be miserable for the rest of my life just to save his pride?" Echo shrugged, "What will you do instead? Sleep around and live 'free' for the rest of your life? Don't you want a family? Someone to care for you? Come home to at the end of the day?" Luna bit her lip thinking about the string of questions. "I've never believed in being owned by another person, or being a vessel for life just for the sake of it. But I do want someone to care for, and someone to come home to. I think Raven...she is that person for me." Echo pulled out a pack of tobacco cigarettes and offered one to Luna before taking her own and shaking her head. "There’s nothing wrong with Raven. If you are just looking for a bit of fun. But to be serious about a future with her?" They both leaned with their arms on the barrier of the porch. "I just don't see it."

Luna tensed up hearing Echo give her opinion about Raven. "You don’t know how passionate...how soft..." When Echo turned to her she had her lips parted as if she'd say something else, but Luna had stood tall and had her arms crossed. "Roan was never supposed to be anything serious. And you told me you HAD to know. That HE was your person, and you'd die for him. I didn't stand in your way." Echo's brow raised, "Yeah. Look how that turned out.” She spat bitterly. “And you're really going to use that as a reason you should keep seeing Raven because..."  
"Because I am telling you now that I HAVE to know. That she is my person. She more than that. She is precious to me in a way that not even... not even Lark was.” Echo started at hearing that. She knew she’d gotten her point across but Luna didn’t stop there. “I would die for her. I would raze this earth for her. And whether it ends badly or not, I WILL be with her to see this through. So either support me, or fuck off."  
They both sat locked in silence for a moment while Echo contemplated everything she’d just been told. Finally they broke eye contact, and Echo sighed before looking back at the tree line. "Well... then I guess we should work on what you're going to tell Lincoln when he proposes tonight."

TTTT

The celebration of the clan’s new year marked the anniversary of their combining into Wonkru. There was much fun to be had during the three days, but it was also full of sadness for their people. They shared old traditions of hunt and dances and songs. It was about bonding with one another and reconnecting with the earth from which they came, but the ceremony of the last day was emotionally taxing. Those youth that had come of age, and admittedly there were fewer and fewer each year, carried the weight of retelling and performance of the great catastrophe. When the 13th clan appeared. Then the wailing proceeded to mourn the loss of all those slaughtered. Wailing everyone took part in until the sun set, and then the bonfire would commence. 

Luna remembered her turn to perform when she was part of the retelling of the great catastrophe. She’d chosen to write her part as a song, but she was so nervous she couldn’t even eat the night before or the morning of. She remembered Lark held her hand until it was her turn, and gave her a gentle nudge forward. When he looked into her eyes, it felt as though he gave her strength she never knew she had. Her nerves disappeared. Now as she listened to these young ones tell the story she’d heard so many times before she was unfocused. Her attention was on avoiding Lincoln’s gaze. He sat with his grandparents almost perfectly across from her in the circle. He’d arrived just before the start of the ceremony and thankfully Echo had made sure to keep them far from him. Now though there was no hiding.

TTTT

Luna allowed herself to drink heavily during the festivities after what felt like the longest day of her life. She felt guilty for being so distracted during the retelling. All she could do was rehearse over and over again what she wanted to say, what she thought Lincoln would say. How he’d react. It was exhausting. In the end the wailing had been therapeutic. All of her frustration and anger left with every cry she let out. What was Lincoln thinking? The relationship they had was simple. They were good friends who shared one another’s beds on occasion. Now though, she was terrified of having to face him. He knew how she felt about relationships and being tied down...well. That she was feeling that way the last time they’d seen each other and all the times before. Why on earth would he even think about doing something like this? She pushed those thoughts from her mind it seemed over a dozen times. Still she managed to be distracted by them, and worse, what she was going to tell Raven. This wasn’t something she could just not share with her. That realization caused her to tilt her cup back until it was empty. By the time her chest and throat stopped burning, Lincoln was standing right in front of her. 

It was hard to admit that even though the only touch she’d wanted was Raven’s, as soon as she saw those muscular arms and that handsome smile, Luna’s pulse quickened and her body automatically craved his. It was a trained response. She was so used to seeing him, catching up, and then having hours of sex afterward. The way her body remembered it, it was some of the best she’d ever had. “Luna!” He held out his arms. She would usually jump into them and he’d spin her around but now she stood her ground and smiled. “Hello Lincoln. Nice to see you.” His arms dropped to his sides, but he was still grinning down at her. “Hey uh. Let’s catch up! Can I get you something...oh..." He'd stepped closer and probably smelled the strong herb and berry based liquor Anya's mother was famous for brewing. "You’re drinking again?” Luna nodded. “Just for tonight.” 

They headed into the woods. They usually did. This wasn’t odd. They were just going to talk. They always walked through the trees to talk. Luna stopped when she could hear herself think again away from the noise and music around the fire only to realize he’d been talking to her. Probably the entire time they'd been walking. All she'd heard was white noise and the beating of her own heart “But enough about me Luna. How have you been?” She’d wanted to somehow soften the blow of what she needed to say, but between her mind screaming ‘No!’, her body wanting to be on his, and the alcohol in her belly loosening her tongue she quickly bluretd out, “I can’t marry you Lincoln.” Lincoln’s smile wavered, but he recovered quickly. “I thought something was wrong when you kept avoiding me before the ceremony. Listen Luna, I know it was a long time ago and we were both drunk but I was sort of hoping that being together for-“I have a girlfriend!” It was after those words tumbled forth that his smile dropped. “Uh...oh. That’s...new.” Luna swallowed, and started softly.  
“Yeah. It is. She’s great. She’s a rocket scientist. Or...you know...I don’t know what her technical title is...” Lincoln stared at her in disbelief.  
“Yeah? And this girlfriend of yours have a name?”  
“Raven. Reyes.”  
“How long have you been seeing her?”  
“She asked me out 33 days ago. If I look at my phone I can tell you how many hours too.”  
"And she's a rocket scientist?"  
His tone suggested he had reason to not believe her. Which was fair considering her previous stance on relationships and titles, but still he should have known her better than to think she would make something like that up.  
Luna shot him a look of warning. "Do you think I'm lying?"  
“You REALLY have a girlfriend? I thought...”

Luna frowned. “Lincoln... you are a good man. But you knew what we had was...casual. That was the deal we both made.”  
Lincoln finished his drink and crushed the cup. “We've been going on for eight years! I thought that meant...something to you at least. God. You’re all I think about while I'm out there. Every minute of every day all I think about is being with you again. I knew you were sleeping with other people but... a girlfriend?”

She took a step toward him and held out her hand. “And you have been sleeping with other people as well.” She reminded him gently. “I never realized you had those kind of feelings for me.” He hesitated in taking her hand in his as she continued, “If I had known how you felt about our arrangement I wouldn’t have let it go on. I just don’t feel that way about you. That is not to say I don’t care for you. Or that I didn't enjoy being with you. You are one of my best friends.” Lincoln’s thumb rubbed across the back of her hand. “And Raven? You... you have feelings for her?” He asked hoping she would give an answer other than yes. Luna felt bad for him. She could see the hurt and confusion clear in his eyes.

“All of them. She makes me feel all the things I’ve only heard people describe. Right down to that disgusting pang of possessiveness. She’s my... she's just mine. I can’t explain it, and I can’t imagine what life would be like without her.” Luna’s face was already flushed from the alcohol, but she could really feel the heat spread across cheeks. She hadn’t even told Raven thats how she felt yet. 

Lincoln's hand let go of hers, and he turned away. "This is...not how I pictured this going." Luna stood still. Torn between comforting him, and giving him time to process what she’d just said. “I know it’s a lot. I still cherish your friendship. Very much. And I hope one day we can be friends again.” He turned to her and shook his head. “I don’t understand how someone so warm and full of life can be so cold.” Luna frowned. Of all the reactions she calculated she hoped that this would not be the one she had to deal with. Lincoln was a good man. Gentle. Kind. Sensitive. It only meant that when his temper flared he had no practice in controlling it. Luna didn’t want to stay and hear what he thought he had to say, or see what he would do next.  
“I’m standing here pouring my heart out to you, and you tell me we’re just friends?”

“I will see you again Lincoln.” She turned and began to walk away, but of course he grabbed for her. She yanked her arm away before his grip tightened, and quickened her steps away from him. He didn’t grab for her again, but he followed her. Great. He was going to make a scene. “I have been in love with you for years! I was there for you when Lark died. I was there for you when your mother died. When you were sick. We did everything together! And the way we made love! You can’t tell me you didn’t feel the fire between us. And now you’re telling me that you care more about this person you just met more than me?” 

The sound of his whining turned Luna’s stomach more than the feeling of hard liquor on her empty stomach. She stopped just shy of the clearing where their family and friends were and turned to him. Her eyes wild and piercing even in the dark. “Do you even hear yourself right now? I haven’t seen or heard from you in a year! Now you want to show up and act like you have some claim on me? Like I owe you for being a friend when I needed one? I don’t owe you shit! I don’t owe you an explanation! And I sure as hell don’t owe you marriage just because we used to sleep together!” He snarled and took a step toward her, she didn’t flinch. “We’re done. Don’t come near me again.

“Hey Lincoln!” Echo stepped out from behind a tree that stood behind Lincoln. Luna’s eyebrow raised. Had she followed them? “Your grandfather was looking for you.” Lincoln turned to glare at her no doubt but Echo shrugged. “I didn’t ask what for. None of my business.” She walked past him and hooked Luna’s arm in hers leading them back to the bonfire. “We’re even.” She muttered. Luna looked at her and smiled thankful that she’d been there. “And here I thought we looked out for one another out of love and duty to family.” Echo stole the cup from her hand and sipped what was left. “Nah. I do it to hold it over your head.” They both laughed, but Luna couldn’t help but feel sick as her stomach knotted. Had Lincoln only been there for her hoping that she’d have feelings for him? That he’d wear her down to the point of wanting to marry him? Were they ever really friends or was it always about trying to be closer to her?

TTTT

Raven had fun at Jasper's event. It was bigger than she'd expected for sure. Everyone was having a good time dancing. Raven checked her phone more than she liked to admit, but she was glad Luna wasn't there. Pushing herself so hard at the gym meant that she was in pain, and she didn't want to take the pain pills. Luna would have undoubtedly been dancing without her, or worse, sitting with her at the bar resisting the call of the dance floor for her sake.  
She did however manage to catch up with Jasper while he was away from the DJ booth to congratulate him on a great night. He insisted on snapping a selfie for his social media. His mouth wide and tongue out like a child showing their chewed up food to someone, she stood next to him and couldn’t help but to smile. He was usually manic with his moods, but all day he seemed to be in genuinely good spirits. It made her happy to see.  
He was nice enough to send the picture to her, and she sent it to Luna. 

'Jasper says hello lol'

She wasn't surprised when there was no response. This time with her family was a big deal for Luna. They celebrated family, and partook in old traditions. She promised to tell Raven all about it when she got back and maybe sneak some pictures. The only pictures she'd gotten so far were from the road trip there though so Raven assumed she hadn't been as good at sneaking her phone out as she thought.

Her night didn't last long. She stayed just long enough to have a few drinks, hang out with Jasper and Clarke a bit while she sobered up, and then she said good night. She'd much rather be at home working on binge watching a crime show or something anyway.

TTTT

She sneaked away from the celebration once she saw Lincoln walk over to his grandfather and made her way back to her aunt and uncle’s house. Funny enough she didn’t feel much like celebrating. She dug her phone out of her pocket and scrolled to her recent calls.

“Are you sleeping?”  
Raven yawned. “No not yet. I just got home from Jasper’s thing.”  
Luna smiled hearing her voice, but didn’t say anything. She flopped down on to the bed and listened to Raven get ready for bed. The sounds of her softly grunting as she removed her brace. Water running while she brushed her teeth. “What time are you getting back?” Raven wondered out loud. “As early as I can little bird. I was hoping we could spend the day together.” Raven chuckled, “Of course we're spending the day together. Even if it’s just me watching you sleep. I have to see you. I was thinking... we don’t really spend much time at my place. Maybe you’d want to come over. I’ll cook!” Luna couldn’t help but to grin. “You said you couldn’t cook.”  
“No. I said I DON’T cook. There are a handful of things I do very well though. I want to cook for you.”  
“Okay. So...I’ll just have Echo drop me off at yours then...”  
The rustling of Raven's comforters reminded Luna to crawl into her own blankets. Her head swam when she closed her eyes forcing her to open them again.  
"I'm never drinking again."  
Raven gasped, “What?? You were drinking and I wasn't there?? Are you a dancer when you drink? I bet you are."  
Luna smirked and closed her eyes. "I don't need to drink to want to dance.” Then she felt a strong pull in the pit of her stomach.  
“Raven?”  
Raven yawned. “Yeah babe?”  
She didn’t know how to explain the knot that gripped tight in her chest and in her stomach when she thought of the distance between them. The time that had passed since their last embrace.  
“I wanted to tell you earlier, but some drama popped off at breakfast...you... you’re always on my mind too.”


	11. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one of the reunion.

Raven felt as if her heart were bruised from how hard it hammered in her chest. Her muscles ached, and her hip down to her knee throbbed with that sharp pain that begged for her to stop. With shallow breath, she unwrapped her wrists and reached for her water bottle on the bench beside her. For once, it wasn't nightmares keeping her from sleep. It was the crippling feeling of loneliness when she rolled over to hold her girlfriend and felt nothing. It was realizing as she pawed around beside her that she never wanted to wake up without her again, and the fear of what that implied that was preventing her from rest.   
  
Running away from her feelings was second nature to Raven, so of course she'd opted to go to the gym at nearly three in the morning. Even some of the familiar faces she'd grown used to seeing were absent. It was Raven, some young guys flexing for selfies, and the janitor. Two hours later there was just Raven. She frowned at her reflection when she entered the locker room. Now she was exhausted, but still thinking about that hollow feeling inside. Luna would be back. She knew the bouncy haired woman was probably already annoyingly awake and urging Echo and Emori up and to the car. It felt like much more than missing her though. That was scary in itself. She thought falling in love was over and done with, but at every turn she just kept sinking deeper than she knew was possible. When would it end?  
  
TTTT  
  
She was still combing through her jet black hair when she heard a knock at her door. Her brow rose. Luna hadn't text or called to say she was on her way back to the city yet, and Raven would have known. She only checked her phone every two minutes despite having the ringer on. The knock came again. This time more aggressive. With a growl, Raven wrapped herself in the terry cloth robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door and limped toward the front door. "I'm coming damn it!" Before she answered, Raven peered out of the peephole. Much to her surprise there stood an equally dripping wet, tired, but gorgeous as usual Luna wearing her jean jacket with a yellow and blue duffle bag slung over her shoulder. Raven let out an unexpected squeak that she didn’t feel one bit self conscious about, and stepped to the side so that she could swing open the door and pull her girlfriend inside.

Luna had spent the entire car ride trying to figure out the right approach to telling Raven about Lincoln. Echo, who was laid across the backseat with the window cracked and a lit cigarette in between her fingers scoffed at every suggestion Luna had. “Lune. Babe. Just don’t tell her. I get it. You know? You feel like this is the right thing to do, but I’ll just say this... He didn’t actually get to propose. You shut him down so fast MY head was spinning. Nothing happened that is going to change your relationship. Just drop it.” Emori who was driving at the time sucked her teeth. “The thing is...it’s going to come up sooner or later, but if she waits to tell her... it will look suspicious.” The two then argued about how the incident could possibly come up if the only people that knew about it were the three of them but Luna zoned out. 

She stood in front of the door to Raven’s apartment longer than she had anticipated trying to come up with the perfect way to say what was on her mind. While she stood stuck in her own thoughts she knocked on the door. First words out of her mouth had to be about what happened before she called Raven the night before. Rip it off like a band aid. At least that’s what the curly haired woman told herself. That all changed when she heard Raven’s voice from the other side of the door. 

As soon as she saw Raven standing there with her hair down and wet, that amazing smile on her lips, and standing in nothing but a robe, Luna forgot why it was important to say anything at all. Raven grabbed the collar of her jacket and pulled her. In those perfectly athletic arms she felt the most like herself. She honestly couldn’t care less about Lincoln and the drama that came with thoughts of him. When Luna’s lips met Raven’s all she could think about was how much she’d missed her woman, and letting her feel how much. The bag slipped from her shoulder to the floor with a thud while she was blissfully consumed by the scorching kiss.   
Raven’s tongue swept against Luna’s urgently. Her grip didn’t loosen on the collar of the blue jean jacket until she remembered the door to her apartment was still open. Even then she didn’t willingly break away from the kiss. She pulled Luna to the side and took a step forward causing Luna to step back, closing the door as she was pushed up against it. “Raven...” Luna moaned against her lips. But Raven barely heard her. She had been starving for this kiss for three days. Her hands left the collar of her girlfriend’s jacket only to slide down and begin to make quick work of the buttons.   
  
Luna gasped and pulled her lips away tilting her head back to get some air, but Raven’s assault did not yield. She moved her attention to the soft skin on her throat and kissed and nipped at the soft skin. It made Luna feel as if she were going to melt on the spot when she felt Raven practically yank the outwear from her body and heard it hit the wooden floor a few feet away from them. She missed this. The connection between them. Raven was not one for sweet words and songs, but her show of affection was more physical. It sometimes felt more primal than anything. The way she watched Luna. The way her eyes always seemed to linger and devour her from a distance. And gods when they touched it was a feeling unlike she’d ever experienced before. It was soothing and electric all at once. Her moaning continued when she felt the tiny nipping at her throat become sucking and biting along the side of her neck. This is everything she wanted, but then she remembered why she was so hesitant to knock on the door in the first place. If Raven kept up her teasing Luna would lose her nerve. Without a word she pushed the palm of her hand against the center of Raven’s chest to stop her.   
  
Raven stepped back confused as to what she'd done wrong. She watched Luna pull her pillowy bottom lip in between her teeth and look down. "Oh Raven. You have no idea how much I want you to keep doing that..." Something was off about the way Luna sounded. The mechanic’s mind raced thinking of any excuse and explanation for that look of guilt on her face when their eyes met. The only one she could come up with was that obviously Luna had slept with someone else. Why else would she look so out of sorts? Why else would she be back so early?   
  
Luna could see Raven pulling away from her emotionally. She could feel it. It was the light in her eyes. The way her body tensed. The thin line her lips were now making. It was impossible but she felt the warmth of her own body disappear. Somehow without saying a word, she’d managed to mess this up already. She swallowed hard and took her time trying to remember the words she’d come up with in the car. Nothing came to mind. “Baby...can we sit please?” Raven didn’t move. “What happened?” Even her voice seemed withdrawn. Smaller somehow, but her body language was that of someone who was ready to fight. Arms crossed, fists clenched, jaw taught. It was clear that she already made some assumptions, and was not going to sit on the couch with her. The only way it seemed was forward so Luna began, “Yesterday I learned that a man whom I thought was a friend was... he’s been visiting my family's home and talking to them about proposing marriage to me.” 

Hearing Luna explain made a Raven’s eyes go wide. Who would be foolish enough to think someone like her would ever want something like that? “Wait... what?” Luna nodded, “He was one of the people I had an agreement with to share my body. No titles, no attachments. Just friendship and sex when he was in town. Echo says he’s been in love with me since we were kids. I didn’t notice to be honest. Or maybe... I just didn’t want to know. That was my mistake.” Raven had so many questions. How many people did Luna have this “agreement” with? Why would someone who knows her think she would want to get married? And most importantly, “Well, so what happened?”  
  
Luna shook her head and pulled Raven to the couch forcing her to sit. Even now Luna could tell that Raven hadn’t slept. It was far too early for her to be awake which meant that she’d been at the gym again, and now she wasn’t wearing her brace. Normally Luna would harp on her for that, but there was something more important she needed to say.   
“I fell asleep for a couple of minutes last night... and then I woke up and just... I needed to get to you. So I made Echo and Emori get in the car. Yes I was wasted. Yes I know how you feel about that, but beat me up later.” Raven scowled now, but did not speak. Luna took a deep breath and continued. “Yesterday was the second day in a row I went without seeing you in person for the first time in months, and it drove me crazy. I just wanted to be here with you. And it seemed the entire time I was gone I was having to defend or explain my relationship with you to people. But when I went to find the words... they were just not enough... there’s not one simple thing I can say to explain how I feel about you. And as soon as he pulled me away to talk, I told Lincoln I couldn’t marry him. That I had a kickass rocket scientist for a girlfriend that I am crazy about. And I realized that as much time as I spent telling everyone else and trying to explain to everyone else how I feel about you... I haven’t told you. I love you. More and more each day. Selfishly, and unashamedly. The past three days have been so lonely without you little bird and I don’t want to do it again.”  
  
Raven was absolutely crushed. Even now it seemed, she was good at making an ass of herself by assuming things about the woman she loved. Of course Luna didn't sleep with someone else. Seeing how those starry eyes shimmered when they fell on Raven begging her to see the truth Raven shook her head. “We are so screwed.” She didn’t understand why she was crying. Luna had just confessed her love and it made her happier than she’d been in so long. But her body just didn’t react the way she thought. Luna being her ever intuitive self wrapped her arms around Raven and didn’t say a word. They gently rocked for a bit and Luna hummed what had to be Raven’s favorite song in the world by now.   
When the tears stopped she didn’t move. She just let herself feel at peace in Luna’s arms, but Luna finally spoke again. “We’re far from screwed. Being here with you... it always feels right. I know you feel it too. It feels very...” Raven turned and looked at Luna. “Familiar. Like we’ve done this before.” Luna nodded, “And maybe we have. In another time...Another place...” Raven leaned into the couch and lazily stroked Luna’s arm. She was content to be able to touch her at all after not seeing her for days. “What are you saying? You believe in reincarnation?”   
  
“I’m saying there are many things I don’t know. But I believe that maybe my whole life I’ve been waiting for you and that’s why no one else mattered.” Raven bit her tongue and cleared her throat before she started to cry again. Luna opened her mouth to ask what the matter was, but Raven cut her off, “Shut up and kiss me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a shorty, and all of the mushy stuff. Smut in the next chapter.


	12. On the Day of the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Luna and Raven begin their day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I was inspired to write another story and then it was difficult to bring focus back to this one.  
> Also there is smut. Just a warning.

Raven relaxed back into the arms of the woman she loved only briefly. She recalled the sweet words Luna had conjured, as well as the confession about her driving back home still wasted from her evening of drinking. That set a new fire in her belly and she pushed out of her arms at once and stood. Even just standing on that leg of hers was causing her pain, but she swallowed it. Luna looked at her seeming to understand that she deserved to be scowled at and then hung her head. “You can’t just waltz in here and say cute things and expect that I’ll just melt into your arms and you won’t get chewed out.” The ocean fairing woman looked up and nodded, but didn’t speak. “I don’t care that you drank without me. Okay maybe I care a little bit... but I expected that when you kissed me goodbye you’d come back to me in one piece! What you did last night was unacceptable! You could have been hurt! You could have killed someone! Or worse, been killed yourself. And I would have just been here waiting for you with no clue as to where you were because you couldn’t even bother to text me and tell me you were on your way!”

Luna swallowed hard and slowly stood. Seeing the most stubborn woman she’d ever known tear up once more nearly broke her heart. She knew she’d messed up, but she wouldn’t take it back for anything. It was because of her stupidity that she was now able to stand in front of her girlfriend and be yelled at to begin with. She leaned in to Raven not shying away from her intense glare. Their noses very nearly touched, but she didn’t use her lips to silence the still fragile woman. What Raven was feeling was valid. She’d been injured by a drunk driver after all. She was bound to be upset by what she’d done. Luna nodded and whispered to her. “I know. And I promised I wouldn’t hurt you. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just... I needed you.” Raven’s eyes darted from hers down to her lips and did not leave them. Luna swallowed nervously, and continued. “I’m so sorry I was weak. I will be more careful to honor the promises I make you.” She knew the kiss was coming, but it washed over her like an unexpected wave all the same. It was the kind of kiss that was so intense, it could not last forever. Her skin felt hot and each of her muscles as if they were vibrating just below the surface. Just like when she was greeted at the front door, Luna found herself lost in the affections of her little bird. Her thoughts were fragmented and in that moment only amounted to showing her how much she missed her. 

Raven had been the one to initiate, but Luna clearly had ideas of her own. The mechanic all but swooned when she felt both of Luna’s hands travel to her round backside and gave it a firm squeeze while she pushed her soft tongue further into Raven’s mouth battling her own. It sent a pulsing heat between her legs causing her knees to trembles. She pulled back and nipped at Luna’s bottom lip with her teeth. She needed to get off her bad leg, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment. “Luna I...” she didn’t have time to finish her thought. Luna had swept her off her feet into a bridal carry much to Raven’s surprise. She gasped and hooked her arms around Luna’s neck. She’d never let anyone man handle her, and she sure as hell never let anyone carry her. The way Luna was looking down at her now though made all of her pride melt away. 

Luna held Raven to her and watched as the woman looked up at her as if she’d just performed some grand magic trick. A slow blush formed on her cheeks and she carried her love to her bedroom. It seemed that Raven had been planning something for their day together. The usually simple, and impeccably clean space had small unlit candles strewn all over the shelves, the window ledge, her desk and the floor. There was even an incense holder that Luna knew for a fact Raven didn’t own when they’d moved her into the apartment. She didn’t stop though and laid Raven down with another deep penetrating kiss drawing a needy moan from her lips.

“Why Raven,” Luna smirked as she stood at the end of the bed slowly pulling off her top. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you had plans to seduce me.” Raven sat up and eyed the perfect breasts that swayed with Luna’s movements. She licked her bottom lip and practically growled, “Who says I don’t.” Luna’s hand explored her exposed shoulders and wandered down to her breasts. She found the robe was loose but not enough to allow her the freedom to touch all of Raven. She reached down to her waist and yanked at the tie that held the robe to her. 

Raven let Luna get frustrated at the robe and tear it from her body. She panted and hissed against those pillowy lips when she felt her nipples being pinched and tugged. When Luna’s hands settled on her hips, Raven tried to wrap her legs around her. Luna was having none of it. Her hand slithered in between them and gripped the inside of her thigh before she gently pushed Raven down with her other hand so that she’d finally lay flat. “Let me take care of you Raven.” 

Her breath grew still as she hovered above Raven. Her fingers slid down her tensed thigh to just between Raven’s beautiful brown thighs, and met with smooth wet folds as Raven raised her hips. “Raven.” Luna scolded playfully. She pushed two fingers inside and watched Raven gasp and her entire body go rigid before relaxing. In seconds she was moaning for more. Luna leaned down and gently suckled on Raven’s sensitive earlobe. Her voice was thick with her own arousal. “I want to make you feel how you make me feel.” She knew it couldn’t be possible, but she would try. 

Raven tried not to move again. She knew Luna was only looking out for her, but gods was it driving her crazy. Feeling Luna thrust her fingers in and out of her now steadily dripping center, and hear her panting in Raven's ear made it harder to resist. “Mmm- more.” She stuttered. Luna seemed to pause, but only for a second before understanding what exactly it was Raven needed. She gasped feeling Luna pull out of her. She felt empty and it temporarily agitated her. That was until she watched as Luna greedily sucked her essence from her two glistening fingers with a vulgar smirk on her lips, and held up a third giving it just as much attention. Biting her lip Raven held on to the sheets and nodded. She would have begged if she thought it would make Luna move any faster, but she knew better. 

Luna knew Raven was close. She was no longer trying to stop herself from squirming and thrusting beneath her. Luna should have stopped. She didn’t want Raven to hurt herself, but the dripping between her own thighs at the taste of her lover still on her tongue, and hearing how much Raven was enjoying her touch wouldn’t let her. Her ego was inflating by the second. This puzzle of a woman who had quite often frustrated her near to tears on her boat while they were making out was like putty in her hands now. She was writhing and moaning beneath her like a woman possessed. Luna stopped for a moment and pushed her forehead to Raven’s. “Open your eyes baby. Look at me. Look at me.” 

Raven’s eyes shot open. She found she didn’t want to look away from Luna. She wanted her to see exactly what she was doing to her. Their eyes searched back and forth and her hands now gripped at Luna’s shoulders instead of her bedsheets. If Luna minded Raven’s nails digging in her skin she certainly didn’t show it. Raven’s core tightened around Luna’s fingers. “I’m gonna cum.” In that perfect moment it wasn’t Luna’s fingers Entering her faster than before making sure to curl and hit her sensitive spot, or even the unfamiliar words she moaned in trig after Raven had told her. It was the all consuming hunger in her eyes. It heated every inch of her skin and made her feel somehow even more naked and vulnerable than she already was. Her stomach tightened and finally she realized she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

Luna licked her lips and crushed them against Raven’s when she saw her eyes close. She didn’t stop rocking her fingers against that spot Raven liked until she felt her lover’s body finally grow still. The sound of the rain was the only thing that interrupted both of their constant panting and catching of breath. When Raven was no long contraction around her fingers Luna removed them and sat up. She once again sucked each one clean savoring the taste of the salty sweat cum on her tongue. 

Raven she gently tugged at Luna to come closer. How could she deny Raven anything? Luna laid beside her and propped her head up so she could admire Raven’s features. Her other arm draped over her body. “You bought all these candles for me?” She watched the mechanic nod and pull her in close croaking, “Don’t think you’re getting off that easy.” She chuckled and pulled away. “Why don’t we give you time to rest. Besides. I haven’t had a good shower in the past day.” She rolled out of bed and stood to stretch. Raven pouted and tried to sit up after her. She winced and quickly tried to hide it, but Luna simply shook her head. “I mean it. Rest little bird. I’m not going anywhere.”

TTTT

Large raindrops pattered against the glass harshly as the thunder rolled in the distance. The sounds of the storm hardly registered to Raven. She was too deep in thought. Luna had offered to take a shower and give Raven a chance to get some rest. That didn’t mean she could. Knowing Luna was there showering in her apartment did make it easier to lay down, but her mind would not let her rest. She thought about their earlier conversation.  
Luna was right. After the first night they spent together, things with them had been easy. So effortless, and familiar. She wasn’t one to get close to anyone as easily as she’d grown close to Luna. She didn’t like other people being in her personal space. She wasn’t even all that affectionate with Finn. Even when they were dating it felt a bit awkward. It was her first clue that maybe something wasn’t right between the two of them. 

When Luna hugged her that night outside of the market and Raven had felt something that told her it was okay. She’d told herself it was because of how devastated she was at the loss of her best friend, but it was more than that. Luna was always holding her arm, leading her by the hand, resting her head on Raven’s shoulder. Touching was something that just happened between them, and even before she realized her feelings Raven had been resting her hand on Luna’s, finding an excuse to get her fingers in those beautiful curls of hers. When they sat together it was always close enough that their thighs touched. The silences between them even seemed peaceful. That has always struck Raven as odd when she stopped to think about it before because she was always a talker. But something about Luna calmed her.  
When she heard a knock at her bedroom door she sat up. “Luna... you don’t have to knock.” Luna cracked the door open and peeked inside, “I wasn’t sure if you were sleeping...” Raven sat up and held out her arms. “I told you. I’m spending the day with you. Come here.”

Luna had dug her pajamas out of her packed bag and gotten dressed after her shower to try and show some level of self restraint. She wanted Raven now more than ever, but they both needed sleep and Raven needed some special attention. She had decided if Raven was asleep she’d nap on the couch to avoid waking her. She wasn’t really that surprised to find that she wasn’t though. She crawled into bed and became the little spoon when Raven turned on to her side and held on to her. Tender kisses littered her neck making her smile, but then Raven’s heart beating against her back felt strangely quickened. Her breath uneven. Luna turned and looked at her confused as to what could have triggered such a reaction, but supportive all the same. “Breathe with me.” Raven cleared her throat and sat up again. Her fingertips brushing Luna’s damp curls. “I uh... I came to a realization while you were gone too. And since you know... you told me about yours I just uh...” 

She looked away nervously for a moment before taking a deep breath in to her nose. “I don’t want to spend another day away from you either. Or another night. So uh. If you want I mean I know you love your boat and I’ve never really asked you to before I don’t even know how this would work because I know you like to have your space and I like to have mine and I can’t ask you to-” Luna pressed a finger to Raven’s lips. “You are not breathing” she reminded the woman. Raven nodded and took another deep breath in. “I want to be with you.” 

Luna bit her lip thinking about everything she could understand from when Raven was rambling. And it sounded like what she wanted was, “Do you want me to move in with you?” Raven shrugged. “If you. If you want to.” Luna shook her head and chuckled. “I love you so much. Even now you are terrified that I will say no. Of course I will move in with you.”


	13. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a new start for our ladies.

"We don't have to bring any of it with us." Raven spoke quietly. She and Luna were both lying on the floor of an empty loft looking up at the overcast sky through the skylight. Neither of them had moved. They couldn't pull themselves out of their individual fantasies of this place that could soon be theirs. "You're right." Luna said dreamily. "We can just start over. I leave all of my things on the boat...you seem to not mind starting over if I recall. We can just...build in this space." For the first time since they'd laid down next to each other to see how they felt about the view, Raven sat up and leaned over Luna. Her smile was so relaxed she nearly seemed intoxicated. "None of the furniture I own would feel right. And we'll need your things to stay on the boat for when we want to stay there...we can make this place feel like our home." 

Luna could see that Raven really loved this place. She loved it too. She could see herself actually living there. Watching Raven reading news articles while she stood in the kitchen area sipping her coffee. The two of them doing laundry, and hanging curtains. It almost felt like she was turning in to a different person the more she let her imagination roam. She'd never had a strong feeling about curtains before. Now it's all she was thinking about along with coffee tables, furs, and spending winter nights snuggled up by the fire place. “Let’s do it.” She sat up only to curl her fingers into Raven's hair and pull her into an eager kiss. She could feel her own heart fluttering quickly in her chest when Raven leaned in to the meeting of their lips and teasingly slipped her tongue across her own. She moaned out loud at the sensation that had warmed her. There was a distinct sound of someone clearing their throat that brought Luna back down to reality. Her cheeks turned red as she became aware of the realtor hovering near the front door trying not to watch the two of them. She gently pulled away and nodded toward that direction so Raven would turn her attention. 

The thin woman in red heels spoke, “I hope I’m not interrupting. I do have another appointment across town in ten minutes-“We’ll take it.” Raven didn’t waste any time. She wanted a home with Luna like she’d never wanted anything else. This place was perfect. A five minute walk from the Jade Dragon, which meant maybe ten from Luna’s boat. She figured sometimes they would want the stability of a home on land, but she couldn’t stomach the thought of her taking Luna away from everything she loved. Besides, she was rather fond of being out on the water with her favorite enthusiast. 

TTTT

Luna had moved some of her things to Raven’s apartment already before they found the loft. They had been living together for a month and were learning to coexist in the same space. Already things had started to change between them. Luna had become sensitive about Raven physically pushing herself too hard. The only thing that made sense was that she saw how bad it was when Raven woke up some mornings. Raven was used to the pain and used to pushing through it. Luna was not used to watching it. One night after dinner when Raven nearly fell, she cried. Luna begged Raven to take care of herself. As much as Raven hated being told what to do, she couldn’t be the reason Luna’s heart broke. She’d agreed to take it easy at the gym, and go back to physical therapy. 

Raven found herself getting agitated that Luna insisted on “decorating”. She said Raven’s apartment didn’t FEEL like her. Whatever the hell that meant. At first it started with her leaving her shawls on the couch. Raven would fold them and place them in one of the drawers she’d cleared for Luna in their bedroom, then come home to find them all on the couch again. After the third time she growled and sent Luna a text. “Okay. What is the deal with these?” Accompanied by the picture. Luna explained that they made the couch look more inviting. That made Raven roll her eyes.

Then it was her shopping for paintings and then asking Raven’s opinion of them while she was busy looking for more jobs to apply to. “Why do you want these paintings so damn bad?” She knew her tone was a lot pissier than she’d been with Luna in a long time, but she did not take it back. Luna gazed at her genuinely shocked that Raven had snapped at her finally. “I want it to feel like a home. All of this space is so plain and empty. Don’t you feel it?” Raven huffed and went back to looking down at her own computer screen. “It’s just an apartment Luna.” She watched Luna stand and then slowly push down on her laptop until it was closed. She pulled it from Raven’s lap. “Exactly Raven. It just feels like an apartment. Don’t you want to be somewhere that feels like home?” 

She remembered walking past Luna’s boat while she was away. Missing the way it smelled. Missing the retro wood panel that covered the walls and the way the carpet felt under her feet when she got out of bed in the morning. It was Luna that felt like home to her, but those things felt like Luna. Then she looked around her apartment. The walls were bare and a hideous shade cheap eggshell paint. There was nothing that she would miss about this place if she left it. Not like she missed Luna’s place. Her brow lifted from its furrowed position and she found herself relaxing just a bit. Luna was right. “This place... I chose it because it was cheap. It was never meant to feel like home. But maybe if we choose a place together. We can... we can have a place that is ours.” 

Luna seemed to relax a bit too and placed the laptop on the ground next to the couch before draping her body on to Raven’s. “If that’s what you want, I want it too.” Raven pulled down at Luna’s hips and nuzzled into her neck. “I want everything with you.” It was a happy little honeymoon phase after that for the most part. They cooked meals together, practiced daily meditation together, they showered together, and Luna was even helping Raven look for jobs. Raven helped Luna look for a new refrigerator for the bar. Things were going smoothly.

In the midst of all her job hunting, Raven received a call one morning from TonDC Inc. It seemed they wanted to interview her despite her never even dreaming of applying there. She tried to explain that to the woman trying to set a meeting. That’s when the name Sinclair was mentioned, and Raven felt her breath catch. She spun around and made eye contact with Luna who had sat up in bed looking at her hopefully. “Tomorrow at ten sounds perfect. Thank you.” She stood still. Raven was still in shock that she was being given this opportunity at all but she didn’t know how to start to explain it to Luna who was still waiting.

“Working for TonDC would be like... I mean it’s bigger than working for the military. It’s bigger than working for NASA. They are their own massive thing. Think Umbrella Corp. ” Luna smiled, but Raven could tell she wasn’t getting her message across very well. “Working for TonDC isn’t just rockets and space travel. They have interests in all things science. Medicine, environmental research, science fiction stuff, if you can think of it they have an interest in it. They actually have a project right now, allegedly, that if it is successful, would let them travel between two places several hundred miles apart within seconds.” Luna’s eyes widened just enough that Raven could tell she was starting to get it. Luna chewed her pillowy lip for a moment. “And you want to work for them?” Raven sat down on the bed. Her back to Luna. “Every geek in the world wants to work for them...and Sinclair gave them my name.” She couldn’t help the swelling in her chest. The old man was still looking out for her. 

Luna knew that whatever Raven decided to do, she would succeed. For the most part, she just wanted her little bird to be happy. Hearing the way Raven described TonDC made her uneasy. Working on rockets, and computers was one thing. But government programs of conspiracy theory caliber with the freedom of not being owned by them? That was something else. Who knew what this new job would be? As uneasy as she was about it, she saw how Raven was glowing at simply having the opportunity to be interviewed and she couldn’t bring herself to rain on her happiness.  
That day while Raven was putting together a portfolio of her work, Luna sat down on the couch out of the way. She found herself with crossed legs and closed eyes meditating. As she repeated the words she learned as a child, she focused on the fear unknown when it came to this new company she’d never heard of, and she let it go. Give it up to the sea, what will be will be. This was Raven’s time to be happy, and if it was meant to be, who was Luna to stand in the way? 

In the night she watched as Raven went to the closet, picked out an outfit, sat down at her computer to put the “final touches” on what she had, and then went back to the closet to put the outfit she’d chosen back. It was exhausting. If Luna were being honest, a little adorable. She knew if she sat back and said nothing, she’d watch this transpire all night. She coaxed Raven to bed with the promise of helping her relax, and making her favorite breakfast in the morning. The serious mechanic nodded, “okay babe. Just have to iron this top and reread th-“Stuffed feather buns.” Raven stopped panicking about what to wear and turned to her, “The ones with the curry vegetables in the middle?” Luna held out her arms. “Yes my love, but only if you come to bed right now. It’s too cold for me to sleep.”  
Raven came to bed and wrapped her arms around Luna. “If I get this job.” Luna stroked her hand up and down Raven’s back. “You’re going to get this job.” She felt Raven smile against her skin. “Yeah but...that means you’ll have to find another dishwasher slash prep cook slash plumber.” Luna chuckled. “No one will ever be as good at all those things as you are. Nowhere near as cheap anyway.” She teased. “Hey!” Raven pouted before grinning. “I love you Luna.” She whispered softly. “ I love you more, Little Bird.”

TTTT

Echo had been very supportive of Luna’s relationship with Raven until one day before the bar opened she told her and Emori of her decision to leave. Echo was the first to raise her voice. “This place is your life! It’s Raven isn’t it? I know you think you love her-“Echo...” Luna sat down at the bar. “I think you and Clarke will really give this place a good run. I trust you both. And if you do something stupid I trust Emori to be honest with you about it. Emori smirked confidently. “Oh yeah I will.” Echo rolled her eyes. “My decision to leave has nothing to do with Raven. Not in the way you think. There is something I want to do...I’ve wanted to do for a long time. Watching Raven get her dream job...not even the one she always talked about, but the one that seemed too impossible to say out loud...” 

Emori sipped her ginger ale watching patiently. Echo however wasn’t convinced and it showed. It was almost adorable how easily she was ready to go to war over Luna’s sanity. “I want to built a refuge. For families, women, children, anyone really who is having a hard time. I want to help those people. I don’t think I can do this all night and wake up to fully realize that dream.” She watched as Echo slowly recognized that Luna was meant to do more than run a bar she hadn’t even bothered naming. She and Emori talked about Raven’s new job as a Data Analyst and Recovery Specialist, and Echo stayed surprisingly quiet. Finally when there was a lull in conversation Echo spoke. “I’m sorry. I uh...I just didn’t expect to lose you.” Emori saw that as her hint to give the two some space and went back to taking inventory. Luna took Echo’s hand. “You’re not losing me dummy. I’m still your boss. And your cousin.” Echo shook her head. The look of defeat making her serious expression more haunting. “You moved in with her. You didn’t even tell me. You’re leaving this place. I get it. You’d be great at helping people. But things with us haven’t been the same as before.”

Luna understood what she meant now. “Things between us changed when you and Roan became a thing. When you had babies... I didn’t think it would ever change because of me either. I know one thing that isn’t going to change.” Echo cleared her throat. “Yeah? And what’s that?” Luna pinched her cheek. “How much I love you.” Echo groaned and pulled away. There was another moments silence. “Why didn’t you tell me you were moving in with her?”  
Seeing her eyes focus on hers and the sadness in them made Luna feel even worse than she had when she’d made the decision. “The way things were going with Roan. I didn’t want to...it felt like I’d be rubbing my good news in your face. Especially when we’d just come back from home and everything was so fresh. It didn’t help that she asked me, and then you had the papers waiting for you when you got home...” 

Echo stood from her seat. “She asked you to move in with her the morning we got back?” Luna grinned. “Yeah. We’re moving too. After she accepted her new job, we found a place we both fell in love with and...we got the keys this morning.” The two hugged, but Echo surprisingly held on tighter than she had in a long time. “I’m so happy for you cousin. I know he would be happy for you too.”

TTTT

Raven was doing better at asking for help when she needed it. Luna was at the bar, and they had discussed moving into their new place the next day, but she wanted to surprise her. Clarke, Jasper, and a new addition to their slowly growing group of friends, Bellamy, helped her pack up the few things Luna and Raven wanted to bring with them to their new home.

“Hey Raven! I finished the painting you asked me to do. It’s in the truck.” Clarke pulled a photo from her bag. Raven had stolen it from Luna’s office to use as a point of reference for the painting. “Thanks Clarke. I know she’s going to love it.” The blonde smiled. “Damn right. It’s my best one yet.” 

It didn’t take long for the four of them to get everything into the spacious loft. Raven knew they wouldn’t be getting their new furniture for a few more days, and so they took the mattress from her old bed and loaded it on to the elevator. Raven thanked everyone and the boys left first. Clarke stuck around for a bit though. “So. You and Luna gonna tie the knot soon?” Raven grew still. Her pulse quickened, but she didn’t know why she was freaking out from the simple question. “Luna...she doesn’t believe in marriage. And I...I’ve never wanted to be someone’s wife.” Clarke chuckled. “Luna also doesn’t believe in dating. And you never wanted to be a dishwasher in a bar. Stranger things have happened.” Raven cleared her throat. “True...” chewing the inside of her cheek she thought about it. “I love her. So much. Every day I have her in my life makes me think about things so much differently than I used to. I never thought I’d say this, but she’s right. She always talks about everything in life having a purpose. Just like the sea, it’s difficult to know how it works or why. But if you just embrace it. Give in and be open to receive its blessings...” Clarke was grinning now. “Yeah. She’s pretty wise.” Raven nodded. “I think if the opportunity presents itself, then I will embrace it. If not...I’m just happy to have her in my life at all.”

TTTT

Business was steady. Luna had barely had time to take a break, so she was relieved when it was closing time. She and Jasper ushered those few stragglers out and began to clean up for the night. When she saw someone knocking at the door she was prepared to turn them away, but it was none other than Raven. She handed Jasper her mop and rushed to unlock the door. “Hey you.” Raven leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “Hey yourself. Let me in. I want to help close up.” Luna’s eyebrow raised. “You know you don’t have to. You don’t really work here anymore.” Raven smirked. “If you can’t afford to pay me, I can think of other ways you can make it up to me.” Luna could only roll her eyes. “Alright. I guess. What’s up though?” Raven shook her head. “It’s a surprise.” 

———

Luna quite enjoyed watching a hyperactive and excitable Jasper and the usually very still and or serious Raven interact. The way she smiled was still such an amazing sight to Luna. She couldn’t help but to smile herself. Jasper was practically cackling at whatever he’d said to Raven who tilted her head back as if she hated herself for thinking it was funny and then laughed along with him before playfully punching him in the arm. She grabbed her jacket.

“Okay. I’m ready to go when you are.”

———

There was nothing that could have prepared Luna for the surprise Raven had prepared for her. She knew something was up when the car turned right instead of left at the light. They were heading toward the loft. She asked Raven if that’s where they were going, but the only response she got was a light chuckle. “Patience.” They entered the elevator and she felt nervous for some reason. The excitement she could sense despite Raven’s cool demeanor made her excited as well. When Raven pulled the single key from her pocket and turned to her she already knew what would be asked of her and closed her eyes. 

A steady hand moved to her lower back guiding her through the front door. “Uh. One more second.” She felt Raven’s hand leave her and could hear movement. The temptation to open her eyes was strong. But Raven was not always one to speak on her emotions. Though, to be fair, she was getting better at it. Luna knew Raven liked to show her better than tell her. When Raven returned she stood behind Luna. “Okay. You can open them.” 

Before her in the large open space was a dining room table with two chairs and two places set. She was happy to see what looked to be pasta waiting for them, but that isn’t what made her gasp. On the wall behind the table was a large painting. She walked forward absolutely stunned. She remembered taking a photo of her favorite view from home. It was of the valley. Lush and green. The flowers and trees she missed so much all from the point of view of one sitting on a cliff. In fact this painting was exactly like the photo she had, only there was what looked to be a lark sitting on the branch of the closest tree. 

After such a long pause and seeing Luna unmoving, Raven didn’t know what to think. “I uh... I got Clarke to-” Luna turned to her with tears welling in her eyes. Her hand clutched her chest. Raven stepped forward and held on to her tightly. It was her turn to hold on to Luna and not speak. She let the woman cry though she knew they weren’t tears of sadness by any means. “Raven...” Raven felt the tears on her neck and held her tighter. “I got you baby. I got you.” 

Luna didn’t know what to say. She was just feeling so much. “It’s so beautiful.” She said sniffling and trying to compose herself. “How did you...” She blinked when Raven pulled away. “I remember you telling me that was your favorite place to hike with him. And I thought maybe you’d like to have a bit of home here.” Luna nodded. “I just. It’s perfect. I didn’t know I could be so happy.”

Raven pulled her close once more pressing their foreheads together. “I’m going to spend as much time as life allows me making you happy. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking this journey with me. I’m sorry it took so long. I knew that this would be the last chapter and didn’t want to make it too complicated or crazy. That. And it’s always hard to say goodbye. I will continue to write different types of Luna/Raven as well as other pairings of my favorite 100 characters. If there are any rare pairings you want to read and think there should be more of, I may be interested in writing them. Let me know.


End file.
